


Love? Impossible!

by andprosper



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pretending to Be Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-21 17:52:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2477117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andprosper/pseuds/andprosper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to keep the Enterprise, Kirk has to pretend to be in a relationship with Spock for a year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Using my favorite trope Fake Relationship!  
> This is based loosely on the Bollywood films Pyaar Impossible and Dostana. You, of course, don't need to have seen them to read this fic.
> 
> Unapologetic fluff.

Spock had a problem. Earth must have had some sort of strange influence on him. He had expected to retain all of his Vulcan rationale on the planet, having been able to handle being half human himself. He had thought he’d passed the greatest challenge to his logic by being born to a human mother. However, this was not turning out to be the case. There was a certain annoyance that was taking over his sensibilities and no matter how hard he thought, he couldn’t discern a logical reason for it. 

This particular annoyance was a sophomore named James T. Kirk. Spock was a teaching assistant in the student’s computer programming class. Kirk proved to be both obnoxious and charming, as well as uncannily brilliant. This combination created a strange sensation in Spock’s stomach and persisted in his mind constantly. Spock was not well versed in the different emotions. He was clear on how anger felt, although it had been many years since he experienced it. Spock was also aware of how sadness felt. But this was an oddly unfamiliar feeling. He assumed, since it was in conjunction with the appearance of James Kirk, it had to be related to the young cadet. These feelings were positive, so he could deduce that the feelings weren’t dislike or jealousy. It was definitely not admiration. Kirk was sufficiently brilliant, but Spock had admired people before and it didn’t feel like that. Eventually, Spock had come to the conclusion that the feeling was infatuation. He had done some searching online and determined the strange wrenching feeling in his stomach every time he saw the cadet was, in fact, a “crush” as it was called colloquially. 

This diagnosis unearthed many problems Spock had to deal with. The least of which was his apparent homosexuality, although bisexuality was also an option. However, he had not had previous attraction to anyone, male or female. Spock was not concerned with being a part of the ten percent population and easily accepted his apparent attraction to a male. The bigger dilemmas involved the attraction he had not only for a human, but also a student. Even more problematic was the fact that this lazy, obnoxious, arrogant human was causing these strange feelings in him. After some deliberation, Spock determined these emotions should be kept to himself, despite the fact the sight of Kirk caused his throat to constrict. 

However, Spock did pay more attention to the young cadet. James Kirk appeared to be fairly popular – especially amongst women. He was charming and friendly as well as being good-looking and Spock could attest himself that he was difficult to resist. It would be illogical to deny it. He mostly saw the cadet in the programming class; however, he would see him in the corridors or cafeteria on occasion. James Kirk did not show any form of recognition when he saw the teaching assistant outside the classroom, neither did he pay him any mind during class. Spock was one of three teaching assistants in the five hundred student class, so he didn’t expect differently. 

Spock was walking back to his quarters across the campus late at night. He had been working on his programming project for several hours. As he was coming to a small channel of water that bisected the campus, he heard loud laughter and indistinct talking. 

Spock came upon the body of water farther from the bridge than he would have liked and headed towards the crossing. There were two people walking across the bridge and as Spock approached, he recognized them as James Kirk and his friend, Leonard McCoy. Despite the fact the doctor was several years his senior, Kirk seemed to spend most of his time with the man. Kirk stumbled and McCoy said something in a voice that clearly expressed his disapproval and swayed a bit on his feet. Both men seemed to be drunk and, as Spock walked closer, Kirk grabbed at the railing and climbed onto it. 

“Jim, you shouldn’t be doing that,” McCoy grabbed weakly at Kirk’s pants as he straightened his legs, with his hands still gripping the rail.

“Better let go or you’ll make me fall,” McCoy’s hand dropped as Kirk wobbled into a standing position. 

“What are you doing?”

“Passing the sobr- sober- sobriety test. This is how they should do it. Make it more exciting,” Jim giggled as he slurred his explanation. He held his arms out to keep his balance as he started walking on the railing.

“Jim, get down!” McCoy complained, but didn’t touch him for fear of knocking him off the rail. 

Spock watched Kirk wobble and his arms swung to keep his balance, but he fell sideways into the channel. Spock’s heart sped up and McCoy stumbled from the bridge. Judging that Kirk was too intoxicated to save himself and McCoy was also too intoxicated to help him, Spock dropped his bag and jumped in. Most Vulcans did not know how to swim due to the limited water supply on Vulcan and the lack of necessity to learn, but Spock, upon entering Starfleet, had taken lessons in swimming, as the Academy was right next to the ocean. 

Thankfully, the water was warm enough that the sudden feeling didn’t come as a shock. His second eyelid came in handy for keeping his eyes open in the relatively murky water. Kirk was nowhere to be seen on the surface, but the channel wasn’t too deep. Spock slid his arms under Kirk’s when he located him in the dark waters and resurfaced to find McCoy at the shore. With little difficulty, he dragged the cadet onto the grass and Kirk sputtered and coughed violently. 

Instantly, McCoy was at his friends side, rolling him over so that the coughed up the water. After he was assured Kirk was alive, McCoy looked at Spock with narrowed eyes. Spock was still standing on the shore, opposite his bag and dripping wet. “That was heroic of you and all,” there was some edge to his voice, “but I’ll take it from here.” 

Spock was too busy trying to slow his heart rate and catch his breath to argue. He could see that things were being taken care of, so he crossed back over the bridge to grab his things. He tossed his bag over his shoulder and walked past the pair on his way back. McCoy didn’t spare Spock a second glance as he berated Spock fixed his sopping wet hair and continued back to his quarters.  
In the morning, it seemed clear Kirk did not remember his tumble in to the channel, either that, or he didn’t remember Spock’s part in it since the young man did not even spare him a glance during class. In fact, Kirk did not spare him a glance for the remainder of the semester. 

Spock saw James Kirk a total of two times during the next year – once by passing him in the hallway and another during his academic hearing. Kirk had beaten his Kobayashi Maru test by creating a subroutine in the system, but Spock had not been called to testify. An emergency had prevented the board ruling, but as Spock walked towards the shuttle bay, a hand fell on his shoulder. 

“Mr. Spock, your application for science officer has yet to be approved.” 

“Captain Pike, it is merely a formality,” Spock responded smoothly.

“I’m afraid you have to stay, Spock. Rules are rules,” Pike patted him on the back in what Spock assumed was supposed to be reassuring before stepping ahead of him. 

Spock stood still for a moment before tightening his mouth and returning to his office. 

-Two Years Later – 

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Spock’s hand flew out from his side and pressed the button on the top of his alarm clock. He sat up and neatly made his bed before stepping into the bathroom. He walked through his morning routine with quick efficiency and swiped his bag from his table. He checked the time and went off to a meeting with a potential buyer for the software he had been working on his free time. 

As Spock walked to the meeting, he reflected on the past two years.

He had gotten his bid for science officer approved, but had yet to make it onto a ship. The Enterprise had been in need of a science officer, but Spock had been passed up for a more experienced officer to aid the young Captain Kirk. Since then, there had been no other openings for the post of science officer aboard a ship, although Spock had been offered several lesser positions aboard ships. However, Spock knew that taking one of these opportunities gave him less of a chance of having his desired position, as it was much more difficult to transfer ships if an opening became available rather than join a ship from the Academy. 

Spock had his own classes now – two in computer programming and one teaching the fundamentals required of a science officer, although he had yet to attain the position. He was a teaching assistant in one class, still, in Xenoanthropology. He was one of the few remaining Vulcans left after the destruction of his home planet, and seen as an asset in the class, although it was not his specialty. 

He’d lost both his mother and father when Vulcan had been destroyed. It did not do well to dwell on the past, but it had been the day Spock had been denied entry onto the Enterprise. If he had been there, perhaps he would have been able to save them. No one but a Vulcan would know to find the Vulcan Council in the katric ark. Perhaps if Spock had been there…but as he had stated before, it did not to do to dwell on the past.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim had a problem. He called it one too many bad break-ups, but Starfleet was calling it severe misconduct. Jim was naturally flirtatious, he knew that, but his disciplinary hearing was not about the flirting. The captain had many great qualities: he was attractive, charming, a quick thinker… Unfortunately, he was terrible with break-ups. His first girlfriend in sophomore year of high school, Deidre, was informed that she was no longer his girlfriend through a text message. Mizuki found out when she saw him making out with Ava. Ava knew they were no longer together when she saw him kissing her mother. Scarlett got a door slammed in her face…literally, but it was a complete accident. Quinn had the distinct honor of being one of two girlfriends who didn’t hate Jim afterwards. Jim had been her only foray into heterosexuality and they had a mutual separation. He’d just left Ruth to join Starfleet…without telling her. Baby-talking Kiara was the victim of a one-time-only hissy fit that Jim threw after she pulled one too many clingy weep-fests. He finally snapped and threw all her things out of his dorm window. His relationship with Gaila had fizzled out, seeing as they both had only been in it for the sex. Zafirah had broken down when he’d called her forbidding parents to tell them she was dating. Vega hadn’t really deserved being told they were over right after sex, but Jim had only realized it right then…and he didn’t hold things in well. In an unprecedented bitchy move, even for Jim, after Rani had a pregnancy scare, he had done his best to make himself scarce and broke up with her through the private intercom system on the Enterprise. Sophie was the one who had filed the report after he’d flirted openly with other women to get rid of her. Afterwards, Vega and Rani had complained as soon as the bottle had been uncorked, so to speak.  
He had definitely made some bad choices. And he resolved to repair that. After he got out of his current situation. 

With his captainship at stake, with the Enterprise at stake, Jim had to come up with a plan. He had just arrived at Starfleet Headquarters on Earth for his “hearing.” He probably should have thought ahead, but he always thought best on his feet. He couldn’t really deny any of the allegations…they were true, although greatly exaggerated. And, admittedly, for quite a few years, though it had been on the decline since he’d become captain, he did hit on anything with ovaries. No, his approach had to be one of change. He needed to show the board members that he may have had poor behavior in the past, but he was different now. 

But what would make them see that? He strolled down the hall at a leisurely pace. Jim couldn’t convince anyone with any sincerity that he was now celibate. No way to prove it, either. So it had to be some sort of commitment. A girlfriend wouldn’t be enough – he’d had too many. That was what had gotten him into trouble in the first place. But the problem with a fiancée is he would have to marry eventually…in the near future. And what girl could he convince to pretend with him anyways? Pretend to be committed and spend that period of time with him? It would be difficult to talk someone into it over a period of weeks…and he literally had minutes. Maybe he could call Quinn…

Quinn! That was it! He could convince the council he was gay! Jim laughed out loud. It might be difficult. After all, with his history it was likely he wouldn’t be any more than bisexual. Could he…? No, he couldn’t pretend to be bisexual. That wouldn’t be enough to show change. Not the right kind of change, anyways. No one would be impressed if he just added on men to his repertoire. Gay could explain why he backed out of relationships so badly. After all, in some parts of the world and with some families it was difficult to come out. If he’d just been trying to disguise it for years…

But being gay wouldn’t be enough. He would need something substantial to back it up. He would need a boyfriend. He could call Bones…except Bones would never agree to it. At least not in the time Jim was currently allotted. He needed one now. He passed the cafeteria and got an idea. He could get someone from the school. Then there’d be no reason for them to have to be together on the Enterprise. They could call it a long distance relationship. Couldn’t be someone too young…

Jim scanned the cafeteria. He needed someone not only believable as a gay man, but also as a partner for Jim. Because the captain had high standards and it had to be someone people could see him with. If he was going to do it, he would do it right. 

He started looking for potential boyfriends amongst the students. No. No. Definitely no. Maybe. No. No. Hell no. No…Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone walk by the cafeteria. He was tall with a slim figure, a pale complexion and dark hair. Attractive…excellent. Immaculately groomed…perfect. A little older…even better. A Vulcan? …it’ll do. 

“Hey!” Jim called out in his normal, polite manner, but the Vulcan didn’t stop. “Wait!” He yelled and Vulcan looked up from his PADD. Jim put on his most charming smile and sidled up beside him. “Glad I got your attention. I need a favor…umm…what’s your name?”

The Vulcan returned his attention to his PADD and replied brusquely. “Spock.”  
“Spock,” Jim said smoothly, trying to regain his attention, “I need your help. Are you any good at lying?”

“Vulcans cannot lie.” Okay, that might be a bit of a problem. Jim didn’t know very much about Vulcans, and it was unlikely his knowledge was going to expand after the destruction of their home planet. There were less than ten thousand Vulcans and Jim didn’t expect to find one wandering the halls of the Academy. 

Well, if Vulcans couldn’t lie, he’d have to take a different approach. He didn’t want to lose this one. Jim faltered for a second before picking the conversation up again, “are you good at keeping quiet?”

“As a Vulcan, I find silence to be most agreeable.” 

“Perfect. Come with me,” Jim grabbed Spock’s arm, who didn’t resist, and led him towards the meeting room. He stood outside the doors and turned to the Vulcan he was dragging along. “If I asked you to stay here, would you?”  
Spock hesitated for a moment before saying, “yes.” 

Jim grinned – he’d definitely picked well. The Vulcan was surprisingly acquiescent…not to mention not hard on the eyes. Of course, Jim had often been told he could talk the Devil into doing good (mostly by Bones). He’d often shown a great ability in dealing with alien diplomats…although, on occasion, one just deserved a good punch. Not to mention, Spock wasn’t hard on the eyes. If he’d had to pick a guy… He inwardly patted himself on the back for such a good choice. 

He turned to the large door in front of them, which slid open with a slight squeak. 

Jim stepped into the council room for his hearing after resetting his expression to a more serious one. The council was already gathered – there were three members seated behind a large table at the opposite end. Admiral Jacobs sat to the far right, Admiral Volsky on the left, at the computer, and Admiral Zhao sat in the center. The captain stood before them as the formalities were tossed around. Captain James T. Kirk…disciplinary hearing…accusations of sexual misconduct and behavior not befitting a captain of Starfleet…

“Captain Kirk, how do you plead to these accusations?” Admiral Zhao addressed him directly.

Jim sighed and worked on the best sincerity he could muster. “Guilty, ma’am.”

“Captain Kirk enters a plea of guilty,” she said, mostly to Admiral Volsky. “Do you have anything to say in your defense, Captain?”

“Admiral Zhao, I’ve made some mistakes in my past. I’m not perfect. I’ve had a few bad break ups and made some bad decisions.”

Before Jim was able to pause, Admiral Zhao spoke, inferring from his words what his next line would be, “And you’re alleging you’ve changed?”

“Yes, I have.” Jim said confidently, “I found someone that I care about. I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve made changes in my life.”

“Captain Kirk, if you’re saying you’ve changed because you’ve found a significant other, you have to understand why we can’t take your word. Judging by your past –”

“Admiral Zhao, it’s not quite what you think. All those things I’ve done in my past,” Jim swallowed, steeling himself to ante up the cheese, “was because I was, I hate to say it, scared and compensating.” The excessive flirting could be counted as compensation, right? And the horrible break ups…who could say he didn’t try and worm out of relationships because he was gay and didn’t want to tell the girls the real reason they were breaking up?

Whatever the case, Admiral Zhao appeared to be slightly intrigued. “Do you care to elaborate, Captain Kirk?”

“I was just getting to that, Admiral. I’m in a relationship now…with a man,” he added for emphasis. It didn’t seem to faze the council members; however, Admiral Zhao did raise her eyebrow slightly. “My boyfriend is just outside. I can get him for you,” he offered, noting the unfazed expressions. He needed to impress upon them that this was a change for the better. At least, that it was a change at all. And he had proof right outside. 

“Captain Kirk-”

“I’ll go get him,” Jim pushed, noticing the hesitation in Admiral Zhao’s voice. 

“Captain Kirk-” She interrupted again. 

“Yes, Admiral?” He asked innocently. 

She looked at the other two council members, Jacobs shrugged, and Volsky nodded. “All right, bring him in,” she conceded with a sigh. 

Jim smiled in his most charming way and opened the door. Spock was standing in the same position Jim had left him in, still tapping away on his PADD. “Come with me and just try not to say much,” Jim whispered to the Vulcan outside the door. Spock raised his eyebrow and tucked the PADD away into his bag. Jim led him into the room. 

“Council members, this is my boyfriend, Spock,” Jim introduced the dark-haired Vulcan. He noticed Spock’s posture stiffen slightly, but he didn’t say a word or otherwise indicate the title shocked him. 

Admiral Jacobs leaned forward with narrowed eyes. “Professor Spock?” He addressed the Vulcan. 

Shit. Jim’s stomach plummeted. How did Jim manage to grab a professor of all people? It couldn’t have been a grad student or an employee? Of course he had to grab faculty. Well, it was better than finding out the person he’d picked was married with children. Unless he was about to discover that, as well.

“It’s good to see you again, Admiral Jacobs,” Spock said smoothly. 

“You’re Captain Kirk’s boyfriend?” It seemed as if Admiral Jacobs was shocked, rather than disbelieving. So, unlikely Spock had children and the shock stemmed from something else – perhaps personality or perhaps Jacobs hadn’t thought Spock was attracted to men. 

Jim opened his mouth to answer, but Spock raised his eyebrow and answered for him. “Yes, sir.” 

Hadn’t Spock said Vulcans couldn’t lie? Jim furrowed his brow, but turned to the council and intertwined his fingers with Spock’s. The Vulcan’s breath hitched slightly, but Jim ignored it in favor of appealing to the council. “I’ve made a change in my life and I hope you will take that into account when you make your decision,” _and not take away the Enterprise._ He needed to make sure they understood him. “I’m in a committed relationship and I don’t plan on making the same mistakes again.” 

Admiral Zhao looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before motioning towards the door. “Captain Kirk, Professor Spock, please step outside.” 

Jim and Spock walked outside together and Jim disengaged their hands once the door was shut. They stood in silence for several moments, neither looking at the other. Spock retrieved the PADD from his bag and just began to type on it when Jim finally took a deep breath and spoke. “Look, thanks for doing this. I mean, really. They were threatening to take away my ship. They were going to take away the Enterprise. If there’s anything I can do. Anything. You name it…”

“Actually,” Spock let the PADD slip back into his bag and he had his hands clasped behind his back as he turned on Jim, “there is something.” 

Jim had a sinking feeling, but it was ushered away by a mixture of anxiety and relief. “Name it.”

“I have become aware that Commander Barrett is retiring-” The doors opened mid sentence, and Jim promised Spock he’d let him finish after the verdict.  
Jim walked in alone, but Admiral Zhao stopped him, “please bring Professor Spock with you, Captain.” 

He didn’t understand the decision – it was his hearing, wasn’t it? But he shrugged and opened the door wider for Spock to follow. 

“Captain James T. Kirk, after deliberation we’ve come to a decision. As Professor Spock is unlikely to dabble lightly in a relationship and his Vulcan heritage prevents him from lying, your relationship with him has quite a bit of weight. In light of the new evidence, we are choosing to issue a warning,” Zhao said in an authoritative voice, “However, if we should hear of anymore misbehavior of this sort, you will be stripped of your captaincy and the Enterprise. Are we clear?”

“Yes, ma’am. Crystal,” Jim felt a wave of relief wash over him and he let out a breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding. 

“Also, since it seems you and Professor Spock are serious about your relationship – “

“Very serious, ma’am,” Jim affirmed quickly. 

“- and since Starfleet likes to accommodate families and couples as much as possible, we are assigning Professor Spock to the Enterprise for duty. It has come to our attention that he has been vying for a science officer position aboard a ship and your science officer,” she looked at Admiral Volsky briefly, who nodded an affirmation, “Commander Barrett is retiring. He has met the qualifications and unless you have no objections-“

“No objections whatsoever!” Jim said quickly, keeping up the guise, but he felt his insides curl up. This was not going to be easy – everything was going to get a lot more complicated. 

“He is officially assigned to the Enterprise as your first officer and science officer. Congratulations, Commander Spock,” Admiral Zhao nodded to him. “I do hope you can keep your relationship separate from your work. Dismissed.” 

Jim and Spock walked out of the council room, Jim feeling both elated and relieved, but he also had a strong sense of dread overtaking him. He now knew what Spock was about to request of him had he been able to finish his sentence. “That’s what you were going to ask me about, wasn’t it?”

Spock nodded an affirmation. “Indeed it was, Captain Kirk.” 

He made a slight face – if Spock was going to follow him onto the Enterprise, they might have to keep up the guise of a couple on board. He needed to think, get his thoughts in order. Well, there was a simple solution. “Well…I mean…you can turn it down, right?”

Spock stopped walking and Jim only got a few feet ahead of him before he stopped as well. “Captain, I have been attempting to gain the position of science officer aboard a ship for 3.2 Earth years. I agreed to pose as your boyfriend and you offered a favor in return.”

He needed some time to think up an alternative, but he was momentarily distracted by the lie from the council room. “How did you do that, anyways? I thought you said Vulcans can’t lie.”

“They can’t,” Spock agreed, “but I assumed that you claiming me as your boyfriend was your way of asking me to become your significant other and my assurance that I was counted as my agreeing.”

It took Jim a minute to work out Spock’s wording before he narrowed his eyes suspiciously with realization, “a loophole?”

“Yes, Captain, but that is not the point. You retained your captaincy because we pretended to be a couple and I was able to procure the science officer position aboard your ship for the same reason. It seems as if it would be mutually beneficial to keep up the guise of a couple.” 

“You want to pretend we’re boyfriends?”

“For a period of time, yes. Long enough that it would not be suspicious if we separated. The other option, of course, is to tell Starfleet it was a lie and you and I would both lose our positions.” 

Jim was getting a headache. He cringed and nodded, “you’re making sense,” he admitted. It took him a few moments to get his thoughts together fully. On the one hand, he wouldn’t be lying and he would lose the Enterprise… On the other, he would be lying to everyone, losing any potential girlfriends (though he would still need to rethink his dating strategy, all things considered), and having to pretend to be gay… but he would have the Enterprise. And goddamn if the Enterprise wasn’t the only lady he’d ever loved. “Fine,” he finally acquiesced, “how long will we need to pretend?”

“I believe an Earth year would be sufficient.” 

“A year?!” Jim exclaimed, scaring the small girl walking beside them. Even though the number was jarring, Jim inwardly agreed with the estimate. He’d never been with someone so long… it would definitely show their relationship was significant. 

“It will not be difficult to keep the ruse up for that long. Public displays of affection are frowned upon, so we would not garner suspicion if we kept those to a minimum. We would not need to worry about time spent together because, as captain and first officer, we would be around each other constantly. By my estimates, our supposed relationship would amount to sharing quarters and eating together during meal times. The former is an obvious requirement of a serious relationship as well as a cover – we would simply be believed to be a private couple who displays affection and passion in our quarters. The latter is to keep up the guise of a stable relationship. If we were not seen eating together people would believe – “

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got it, Spock,” Jim waved, his brain trying to process his own thoughts as well as the words Spock was throwing at him. “Damn, once you get started, you just don’t stop talking, do you?” Jim muttered rudely as he sorted through his own mind. 

Spock’s eyebrow hitched, but he stopped talking momentarily. “Captain, I –“

“Jim. You have to call me Jim when we’re off duty now,” he corrected and started walking again. Spock predictably followed, falling into step beside him. One year. Meals together. Sharing a room. It seemed manageable. Well worth keeping the Enterprise. “What am I going to tell Bones?” Jim grimaced to himself  
.  
Spock didn’t ask who he was referring to – either he already knew or he didn’t care. Probably the latter. “You could simply explain the circumstances-“

“That was rhetorical,” Jim stopped him. Hopefully this was only going to get easier. He walked into the cafeteria and smiled at the Vulcan. “So… can I buy you lunch?”


	3. Chapter 3

“You did WHAT?” The voice on the communicator shouted. Jim winced and groaned. He’d left his lunch with Spock after they were both finished to contact Bones. After all, he would immediately see through the ruse, so he had to warn him before he alerted other crewmembers.

His lunch with Spock had been a moderately quiet affair. Spock wasn’t much of a talker, which Jim appreciated since he was. He spent most of the lunch asking questions of Spock, trying to learn more about the man he was going to be sharing a room with for a year. After all, if they were involved, he had to know enough that people would quickly become suspicious. Spock didn’t ask him questions in return and he wasn’t particularly forthcoming with information, but he accepted Jim’s numerous questions and answered them honestly. He learned about what Spock did for a living – what he taught and the computer program he worked on in his spare time. He learned about Spock’s life since coming to the Academy. Jim had briefly skirted around the topic of Spock’s parents, but after Spock informed him that they had died on Vulcan, he pressed no further. And as he learned these things, he was quickly picking up on Spock’s personality. Since he didn’t offer much in the way of words, Jim was working on reading between the lines.

He talked more about his independent programming than his teaching, so… Jim was thinking he enjoyed it more. And he was very curt about his parents’ deaths, so he did feel something about it. Not as emotionless as they were rumored, Vulcans… Spock’s little facial movements – miniscule, really – would have gone unnoticed on anyone else’s face. But they were very obvious when Spock made them – a slight raise of his eyebrow, a thinning of his lips, his gaze momentarily elsewhere. Jim was sure he would be fluent in Spock soon.

But as of right now, his most daunting task was convincing Bones everything would be fine. Oh, wouldn’t Bones do well to meet the Vulcan… “Look, Bones, you’re just going to have to play along.”

“You couldn’t just own up to what you did, could you? What are you going to learn from all this? That you can talk your way out of everything? That there are no consequences for your actions or how you treat people?”

He was definitely not ready to have this argument with Bones. Especially not over the communicator. “I don’t feel like explaining this right now. Look, the orders have already been sent to the Enterprise and we’re going to beam up at 19:00 hours. You don’t have to like it. Just keep your mouth shut until we can talk.”

“Jim-“

But Jim snapped the communicator shut and returned to his and Spock’s table.  “Ready?” He asked – to which, Spock quirked an eyebrow and picked up his bag. Now what did that eyebrow quirk mean?

“I have put in my request to have my personal items transferred to the ship,” he said as his agreement and then continued. “Captain, may I inquire as to who was on the communicator?” Ah, it was an eyebrow raise of curiosity. Store that information for later.

“You have to call me Jim, remember?” He reminded – it had been one of the terms they’d agreed on to keep up the ruse (Spock’s idea). In addition to eating meals together and sharing quarters, they had to refer to each other by their names, not their titles while not on duty. They needed to be caught engaging in minor physical contact on occasion. They were not allowed to date or engage in romantic physical contact with anyone other than each other. (This one was more for Jim.) They had to take their shore leaves together. And they were not to tell anyone about the lie. (A bit soon to break a rule, Jim supposed, but it really was easier to tell Doctor McCoy immediately.)

 

Spock raised an eyebrow at the reprimand. Dammit, what did this one mean? “I apologize, Cap- Jim.”

Jim smiled in satisfaction and started walking with him to the transporter room. “That was Doctor McCoy. I’m sure you’ll get acquainted while we’re on board.” He was sure Doctor McCoy and Spock would not get along. Bones was illogical and emotional and would be sure to grate on the nerves of the Vulcan joining the crew. And vice versa.

“Good to see you again, Ensign Janeway,” Jim smiled and leaned towards the young woman in the transporter room. Spock looked at him pointedly and he frowned. Had that been too flirtatious? He just found it to be friendly... He cleared his throat and straightened quickly. “Beam us aboard the Enterprise, would you?”

“Yes, captain,” she smiled as the pair stepped onto the transporter pads.

“Energize.”

The transporter room at Starfleet Headquarters and Ensign Janeway disappeared. They materialized in the transporter room of the Enterprise. Jim hopped off the platform and waved at the lone technician in greeting. “Let Mr. Scott know I’m on board, Ensign Mitchell,” he said as he walked out of the room. The door slid open for him and Spock, who was a mere two steps behind. Good. He could keep up. That was a nice change from some crewmembers who got quite unnerved when Jim kept up his “man on a mission” pace, as Bones put it. Bones tended to get cranky with him when he walked too fast. ‘Where’s the fire?’ ‘It’s just breakfast!’ ‘Dammit, Jim, slow down!’ ‘Where are you going in such a hurry?’ And so on.

He strode down the long pale-colored corridor to the turbolift. Jim and Spock stood side by side on the lift in silence. Spock clasped his hands behind his back, which seemed to be a comfortable position for him. Jim took a moment to look over at him and smile. Spock seemed to sense he was being watched, but kept his eyes on the door.

“Ready?” Jim asked, feeling a bit anxious. _Just act natural, confident,_ he told himself.

“Naturally.”

Jim’s smile grew wider at that. Spock was a little haughty, wasn’t he? It was a good trait on him.

Jim stepped onto the bridge when the doors slid open with Spock following on his heels. An overenthusiastic young ensign hopped up from his seat. “Captain on the bridge!”

“Thank you, Ensign, but I don’t need an announcement every time I come in,” Jim grinned and walked over to his chair. He didn’t sit in it quite yet, greeting the crewmen in turn. A few glanced at Spock, but he would get to that in a minute. For now, he wanted to get as far away from headquarters as possible.

“Good to have you back, Captain!” Scotty looked up from the captain’s chair to greet him and stood up. Jim waved his hand to let him know to sit back down. He didn’t plan on staying long, regardless.

“Lieutenant Sulu, we’re ready to go,” Jim turned to the console, “let’s get out of space dock.”

“We received the orders from Starfleet, Captain,” Uhura said from her position at the communications console. “Commander Spock’s papers have been received. He had been instated as first officer, Captain. And his things have been sent to your quarters,” there was a strange pull in her voice, but Jim couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Did she think it was funny?

Sulu and Chekov turned in their chairs as the bridge suddenly fell silent. Sulu raised his eyebrow and everyone looked at Jim. “What’s the problem, guys? Can’t figure out how to get out of space dock?” Jim smiled at the bridge crew and looked over at his new science officer. “Come on, Spock. I’ll show you to _our quarters_ ,” he may have overemphasized the last words a bit too much. But he wanted it to be pretty clear for anyone who might not have heard Uhura, or simply thought they misheard. Jim turned to the Vulcan, who was still by the turbolift. “Mr. Scott, you have the conn,” he said as he walked back to join him.

“Aye, captain.”

Jim took one more look at the bewildered faces of his bridge crew before stepping into the turbolift with Spock. “Captain, you did not familiarize me with the bridge crew,” Spock stated once the doors slid shut.

“Sorry, Spock. Things were a bit uncomfortable. Figured I’d let the announcement simmer for a bit,” Jim shrugged, “the crewman who introduced me is Ensign Gupta. Lieutenant Uhura is communications; Lieutenant Commander Scott is chief engineer. Lieutenant Sulu and Ensign Chekov were at the helm. Lieutenant Robinjo is head of security. I’ll be sure to introduce you to our Chief Medical Officer later,” Jim smiled at the thought before walking out of the turbolift as it came to a halt. It was going to be amusing introduce Spock to Bones, that he was sure of, but he imagined it would also make his life quite a bit more difficult. Only by some sort of miracle did he expect the doctor and his new “boyfriend” to get along.

It was only a short walk down the corridor before they stopped in front of his room. “Here we are, Spock.”

The slim man stepped into the quarters as Jim reprogrammed the door to allow access for Mr. Spock. “Feel free to put your things anywhere,” Jim commented over his shoulder when he heard Spock moving around behind him. Once he was finished reprogramming the door, he turned around to see Spock bent over a bag. Jim quickly averted his eyes from Spock’s rather pleasant backside and walked over to stand beside him. “You don’t have much to unpack.”

“I find material things to be tedious, Captain.”

“You have to remember to call me Jim. I’m sure that Vulcan mind can handle it. Can’t it?” Jim provoked the Vulcan. He was sure the title was just to show respect and maintain distance between them. But they couldn’t be having any of that distance now. Especially not if he showed it in front of the crew.

Spock pursed his lips and tucked his folded shirts into an empty dresser drawer. Thankfully Jim had few enough clothes that he had plenty of room for Spock’s things. “I can accommodate, Jim.”

Jim smirked to himself and helped the Vulcan unpack in relatively amiable silence. Jim let Spock put away his clothes while Jim took a few of the items and hesitantly placed them around the room. He put Spock’s PADD and other computer items on the desk that Jim rarely used (he preferred to read in his bed) and placed a few items that looked decorative on empty shelves. He supposed in a way he himself was like Spock. He didn’t have many material things, either. He had pictures of his family near his bed… and that was about it for decoration. He liked vintage items, but he’d left everything he’d owned back home when he’d joined Starfleet. And there wasn’t really an opportunity to collect in space. He had a few minor gifts from diplomats tucked here and there, but it was out of respect. His awards were out of sight, only brought out in case of official hearings and the like.

After a few minutes, the doorbell chimed and Jim told the computer to permit entry. The doors slid open and Bones stormed in. “They said you were on the Enterprise! How come I’m the last one to ever hear anything?” He snapped and then spotted Spock. He gave him a long once-over, his eyes momentarily squinting in recognition, and folded his arms over his chest. “So you’re the Vulcan.”

Spock watched Doctor McCoy calmly and finished putting his regulation boots away. “I’m Commander Spock.”

Jim intervened quickly. He wasn’t sure he was interested in the result of an interaction between them left to their own devices. “Spock, this is Doctor Leonard McCoy, our chief medical officer. Bones, this is Commander Spock, my new first officer.”

“I know exactly who he is, Jim,” he responded sourly. “He’s the one you forced to play boyfriend with you. How do you expect to keep this up? Are you going to lie to the entire crew? To your friends, Jim?” Bones demanded and turned on Spock. “And you! Why the hell did you let him do it? Why did you play along? You’re just encouraging him!”

Spock was, expectedly, unfazed. “Doctor McCoy, the ruse was mutually beneficial to both parties. I saw it in my best interest-“

“The hell with your interest!” Bones was getting himself worked up. “You two lied to Starfleet! And if they find out, you’ll both lose your positions! You might even go to jail!”

“But they’re not going to find out, are they, Bones?” Jim said imploringly. He knew – or, at least, hoped Bones wouldn’t tell anyone.

He backed down immediately, but seemed no less grumpy. “Well, I ain’t gonna tell them, but you two had better be damned good at this relationship thing.”

“Bones, don’t worry about it, okay? We’ll take care of it,” Jim grabbed the doctor’s arm and led him out of the room. “Why don’t you let the happy couple settle in? We’ll handle everything and you just try not to tell anyone or scare the new first officer away.”

“I’m not finished with this yet, Jim.”

“I know,” Jim grinned and stepped back into his room, letting the door slide shut on Doctor McCoy.

“Jim,” Spock began, to catch his attention, and Jim felt inordinately pleased that Spock was using his first name, “Doctor McCoy is aware of our relationship?”

“He’s my best friend, Spock,” he tried to shrug off Spock’s barely apparent concern with nonchalance. “Don’t worry, he won’t tell. He would have been the first to figure us out anyways, so I just told him.”

Spock was not appeased however, and he straightened almost imperceptibly. Jim was suddenly reminded of being lectured to by a teacher. “How many people have you told?”

“Just him. And I don’t plan on telling anyone else,” he held up his hands innocently. “Just relax, Spock.”

“I’m perfectly calm, Jim,” and he looked it, too. The bastard. “However, I do wonder how we will keep up this ruse if many more people are given this information.”

Jim shrugged him off – he didn’t plan on telling anyone else and the conversation was taking an odd turn in the direction of nagging. It wasn’t a real relationship – Spock shouldn’t be allowed to nag. He was glad, however, that Spock was calling him Jim now – clearly suggesting that perhaps the Vulcan mind couldn’t handle calling him by the correct name had worked. It was just a relief it seemed easy for Spock. Slip ups were a huge threat.

The captain returned to the bridge before Spock finished unpacking, telling his new first officer to get to the bridge as soon as he was done. They had pulled out of space dock and were on their way to Epsilon Six to sort out a mild disagreement with two Federation colonies on the planet. The Tellerites and the Andorians were known to have trouble getting along and Jim could not comprehend why the Federation would have thought it was wise to establish their colonies right next to each other. After settling the dispute, their mission was to travel into uncharted space and conduct a scientific and diplomatic mission with unknown planets.

“Mr. Sulu, lay in a course for Epsilon Six.”

“Course laid in, sir.”

“Lieutenant Uhura, let both colonies know we are currently en route.”

The doors to the bridge squeaked open and Spock walked in, immediately making his way over to the science console. He didn’t look lost for even a second. _Confident and straight to business,_ Jim mused appreciatively. “Mr. Spock, have you read the briefing on the current mission?”

“Yes, Captain. The Tellerite colony and the Andorian colony have a land dispute. The most obvious solution would be a compromise. However, Tellerites are notoriously adverse to compromise and the Andorians won’t allow them to take all of the land. Military reinforcement may be needed.”

“Umm… Thank you, Spock,” Jim responded a bit slowly. He hadn’t meant for the first officer to tell him the whole story or offer his opinion, but he wasn’t about the tell Spock otherwise.

“Captain, both colonies have responded to our message and are looking forward to having this dispute settled,” Uhura said from her console. For what it was worth – she was the only one on the bridge who seemed to be maintaining her professional demeanor. He caught several of the ensigns casting glances in Spock’s direction. Sulu even looked over once. Chekov, however, wasn’t hiding that he was staring at the new science officer with avid interest. After a moment, he started looking between him and the captain in confusion.

Jim tried not to feel too annoyed. He understood Spock was a Vulcan and that was already a point of interest. And the implications of them sharing a room… well… “Good work, Lieutenant,” he responded, pointedly ignoring the stares.

“Captain, if you and Mr. Spock are sharing a room-“

“Ensign Chekov, I believe personal matters are not to be discussed on the bridge,” Spock countered quickly, before Jim could even reprimand Chekov himself, and Uhura turned in her chair to look at Spock – acknowledging his presence for the first time.

“Spock’s right, Chekov,” Jim nodded, his voice gentler than Spock’s since the ensign looked abashed. “If you want to ask personal questions, ask them when you’re not on duty.”

Unfortunately, everyone seemed to take this as a free for all later that day.

The first one to find Jim was Chekov, who practically chased him after he left the bridge from his shift. He was alone, he’d made a show of asking Spock when he would he joining him. Spock said he would be along soon and Jim made a show of being disappointed. He might have overdone it, considering the withering look he got from Uhura as the lift doors closed.

“Captain Kirk!” Chekov called after him and spoke when he caught up. “You and Mr. Spock are sharing a room.”

“Yes, Chekov,” Jim sighed, getting the sudden feeling that Chekov didn’t understand the implication quite as well as the rest. He would likely have to spell it out for him. And answer a number of questions.

“Couldn’t he sleep in Commander Barrett’s quarters?”

“He could,” Jim responded slowly, hoping Chekov would pick up on it himself. Chekov was a brilliant young man, but just as dense with this situation as he was with world history, apparently.

“Then why are the two of you sharing a room?”

Jim looked at the curious ensign, his brow furrowed in confusion. Jim tried not to visibly sigh when he answered, putting it as clearly as possible.  “Because Spock’s my boyfriend, Chekov.”

“Your boyfriend, Captain?” Chekov seemed shocked, but not bothered. Just surprised and a bit confused.

“Yes, Chekov.”

“You’ve only ever had girlfriends.”

And here were the questions he didn’t want to answer. They were perfectly valid, but Jim was going to have to swat them away. He didn’t want to go defining his sexuality too much – too many questions about his past relationships, having to try to spell out why he was homosexual and not bisexual now (he didn’t suspect “it worked better on the court martial transcript” would work), his sudden disinterest in women, and maybe even questions about how he discovered he was attracted to men. “I can change my mind when I want to, can’t I?”

“Of course, Captain,” Chekov paused, taken a back. He took a moment of consideration before adding, “you are an attractive couple.”

Now this caught Jim off guard. It hadn’t been the reaction he’d been expecting. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you two look good together, Captain.”

Jim was a little surprised at the comment, “why thank you, Chekov.” He didn’t know how else to answer, really. He decided to accept the unexpected compliment.

“No problem, Captain.”

The second person to talk to him was Nurse Chapel. “I’m so happy you’ve found someone, Captain,” she smiled before disappearing down the hallway with some samples for the lab. He felt a little guilty for lying, but his spirits were buoyed a little that his crew was being so supportive.

Scotty was next. He found Jim in the cafeteria. “Is this some kind of a joke?” He asked as he sat down across from him with his tray.

Jim tried to look uncaring as he took a bite of his chicken sandwich. He’d have to watch Spock more to get the stoic face down, but he thought he achieved it fairly well. “No joke, Scotty.”

“Well, if you don’t mind me saying,” Scotty’s voice dropped low and he leaned in conspiratorially, “if there was anyone to go gay for, it’d definitely be him,” Scotty grinned at the captain mischievously.

Jim saw the friendly joke for what it was – Scotty was letting him know he was supportive. He smiled back at him and pointed at him with his fork. “Don’t you dare, Scotty. I saw him first.”

Scotty’s eyes twinkled and Jim briefly felt normal, just like they were talking about a girl and there was no huge revelation in Jim’s life that the whole ship was talking about. It felt good. And it felt real – just talking about Spock like any other partner. “So, tell me, how is it?”

Jim choked on his coffee. Oh, he could tell by the look in Scotty’s eyes what he was talking about, but Jim chose to play dumb. “How is what?”

“His cooking,” Scotty deadpanned, voice dripping with sarcasm, and then rolled his eyes, “the sex, Kirk. The sex.”

“It’s…uhh…fine,” Jim said quietly. He was choking on that question, he knew. But he was caught a bit off his game. What a terrible lie. How would a Vulcan be in bed? Just as stoic and cold? Or did they let loose?

“Fine?” Scotty made a face.

“Well, what do you want me to say, Scotty?” Jim quickly caught himself before he made things too bad. He tried to make himself seem a bit more annoyed that someone was prying into his personal life. He’d never been worried about Scotty knowing much before. In fact, Jim was always eager to share. But perhaps being defensive made it seem more serious. Besides, he didn’t really think it was appropriate to be asking about the new science officer’s sex life. Which included asking Jim about his. “It’s great. Fantastic. Amazing. It’s the best I’ve ever had.”

“The best you’ve ever had, Kirk?” A red-haired girl leaned back from the table behind him. He jumped when he noticed her. How long had she been listening?

“You were second-best, Gaila, don’t worry about that,” he brushed her off, hoping she’d let it go. He didn’t want to try to go too in depth about his and Spock’s nonexistent sex life.

She was not going to go away so easily, though. Gaila slid into the seat next to him with a grin on her face. “I always knew you’d end up with a man.”

What? Jim’s eyebrows shot up. “Did you?” Where in the world did she get that from?

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Obvious?” Jim nearly sputtered, staring at her. No. He didn’t think it was obvious. He’d been with women. Lots of women. Including Gaila. Was she implying that he wasn’t any good? Or that he never seemed into it? It was a little damaging to his ego.

“I’ve got to admit, Captain, I wasn’t all that surprised, either,” Scotty agreed.

Feeling a little confused and betrayed (and with a slightly wounded ego), Jim frowned at them. “Not at all-“ Jim choked on his words and stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go.” He needed to get out of the cafeteria before he said something he would regret. In his haste to get out, he almost ran into Uhura in the doorway. He smiled in apology, but she was frowning at him.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, _captain_ ,” she said the word with contempt as she blocked his way out, “but I’m going to find out.”

He was just not up for this. “Thank you, Lieutenant,” he replied as if she had just given him advice one what to have for dinner, and ducked under her arm. He didn’t spare a glance over his shoulder and took the first turn possible in the hallway to get away from the gaze of the communications officer, who was still watching him with suspicion.

Sulu ran into him later in the evening. Jim had retreated to one of the botany labs for some peace. He had forgotten botany was one of Sulu’s many odd hobbies. Regardless of Sulu’s presence, Jim flopped onto the bench and dropped his head in his hands. After a long moment, the navigator sat down on a bench next to the captain. He stared straight ahead rather than at Jim.

“So you and the first officer, huh?”

“Yep.” Jim didn’t feel like elaborating. He was getting tired of the constant barrage of questions. But he wanted to avoid being rude. And if he had to tell each individual crewmember separately, well… that was the way it had to be.

“I guess I never would have pegged you as-“

“Gay?”

“I wasn’t going to say that, per se,” Sulu replied cautiously. Perhaps Jim had snapped a bit too harshly. “I would have phrased it ‘attracted to men.’”

“Well, I’m gay. Not bisexual, not pansexual, or any other form of sexuality that is not exclusively homosexual.”

Jim didn’t dare to look up. He was sure that was too snippy. Sulu didn’t deserve it. He was being very polite. However, Sulu didn’t get mad in return. He just let out a huff of air that may have been a laugh. “I guess you’re getting a lot of questions about it.”

“You have no idea,” Jim didn’t try to hide the exasperated tone in his voice.

“You know, captain. Your sexuality is your own business. Doesn’t matter if you dated every girl on the ship before. You don’t owe anyone answers.” 

That caught Jim’s attention. “What?”

“Your sexuality is yours to label however you think is appropriate Or not label if you choose. I don’t care what your past says, if you’re telling me you’re homosexual now, then I believe you. You shouldn’t let anyone give you the third degree,” Sulu stood up. “I’ll try to keep some of the crew off your back for a while.”

Jim felt simultaneously grateful and guilty. Guilty that Sulu was so gracious when Jim was lying through his teeth. And gracious that he wouldn’t have to slough through the same rigmarole of questions with Sulu, who also offered to keep others from doing the same. “Thanks,” he said with sincerity.

“No problem, captain,” he said before leaving Jim to simmer in his thoughts alone.


	4. Chapter 4

The first night sharing the bed with Spock was awkward, although the Vulcan stayed completely still while sleeping. It wasn’t the bedmate himself who was annoying; it was more the fact that Jim was sharing a bed with someone - a man, to be exact. Although, if Spock had been a woman, he would have easily rated him as one of the best people he’d shared a bed with – Spock didn’t move around, or try to cuddle, or kick Jim in his sleep, or steal the blankets… Were all Vulcans like this? Were they all extremely attractive? Excellent bedmates? Highly intelligent? Whatever the case… Vulcan chicks were definitely going on his mental to-do list.

Although… perhaps having a mental to-do list wasn’t going to help him change his ways. And he had promised himself he would make an effort. He chucked the to-do list and replaced it with: Vulcans are good bed partners. After all, that was just a good trait. Nothing innately problematic with that.

When Jim woke up, Spock was already gone. To where? Where did Vulcans run off to in the early morning? Meditating? Couldn’t he do that in their room? It was a silent activity. Perhaps he was already on the bridge. That wouldn’t surprise him.

He yawned, took one look around his empty room, and decided to eat in the cafeteria. He dressed quickly and fixed his hair, wanting his morning coffee as soon as possible. As he walked down one of the corridors, just around the bend from the nearest cafeteria, he was stopped by a loud voice.

“Captain James T. Kirk!”

Oh that wasn’t good. He’d never had a positive outcome when a woman addressed him with that tone.

He quickly hid his grimace and turned around to see Gaila storming towards him, seeming to be struggling to keep a grin off of her face. Oh, that was much worse.

“What is it, Gaila?” He tried to sound upbeat, rather than how he really felt – filled with dread. He knew that smile too well. Gaila knew something. And it wasn’t good.

“I was talking to your little Vulcan boyfriend in the cafeteria, and he says that you and he, and I quote ‘have never engaged in sexual intercourse,’” she made air quotations around the words. She even took on Spock’s monotone when quoting him. “You lied to me,” she accused, looking smug rather than betrayed or suspicious. Was that better or worse?

 _Fuck_ , Jim felt a little surge of panic. Why couldn’t Vulcans lie? Why couldn’t Spock have found a loophole like he did last time? “Look, Gaila, he’s just shy.”

“Don’t give me any excuses, Jim,” she stepped forward and put her finger on his chest. Suddenly his agreement with Spock about no unnecessary physical contact with anyone but each other flared up and he backed up minutely, putting more distance between them. His own action startled him a bit. After all, Gaila had initiated the contact. And it was just a finger. And no one was even around to see it. Perhaps he was feeling overly cautious. The Enterprise was at stake. “I know what this is about.”

Jim wasn’t sure what to make of that statement. Did she really know? Or had she come up with some bizarre reasoning in her head? “You do?” He asked innocently. No need to give them away if she hadn’t figured it out.

“You’re embarrassed!” She finally let a grin break out on her face. “Captain James T. Kirk hasn’t had sex with his Vulcan boyfriend. Well, I for one think it’s cute.”

Jim was having a hard time keeping up. So Spock’s inability to lie hadn’t screwed them over? “Cute?” He asked, unable to come up with a better response. However, relief was quick to bubble up. It was like walking on eggshells around everyone. Except Spock couldn’t seem to manage it.

“Yes, Jim. Cute,” she reiterated with a bright smile, “You’ve had sex with every person you’ve ever been with-“

“Well, I don’t like to brag,” Jim started.

“I think it’s cute that you and Spock are waiting. It’s romantic.”

“Oh,” was all Jim could say. At least their cover hadn’t been blown and Jim’s reputation was already suffering from being in a long-term monogamous relationship with a man…he supposed it couldn’t hurt if it suffered a little more…actually, it hurt a little bit.

“You must be really serious about him. You’re different with him, you know?” Gaila commented and then stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. “I’m happy for you.” The green-skinned girl flashed him one last smile before bouncing off down the hall. He’d have to talk to Spock about telling people they weren’t having sex. That could make people suspicious. After all, like Gaila said, he had a reputation for sleeping with everyone he’d been with. If Spock were too different, their ruse might be revealed.

Jim ran his hand over his face and finished walking to the cafeteria. It was unusually crowded and lively for the time of day. Usually, early in the morning, there were very few people who ate in the cafeteria rather than their rooms. The only reason people tended to eat in the cafeteria was when their own food replicator was broken or for socializing. Most people were not in the mood to socialize in the early morning, however. On occasion, Kirk liked to eat in the cafeteria in the mornings – but there may be two other people on a good day.

Today, however, the cafeteria was loud and there was a substantial group of people gathered around one table. That couldn’t be good. Was he going to have to break up a fight? Had something happened? Were people making bets again? He didn’t intervene right away. The crowd seemed calm and he needed his coffee before he took any action.

As Jim got his coffee from the replicator, he saw the reason for the large group. Spock was seated at the center of the table with his tray of food in front of him. Jim felt annoyed for some reason and pushed his way through the crowd, forcing himself into the seat next to Spock. “What’s going on?”

“The crew was simply curious about the circumstances of our relationship,” Spock said in his usual smooth voice. It was very calming, Jim was finding. He was a bit irritated, but the sound of Spock’s voice seemed to be soothing his ruffled feathers, so to speak. At least Spock took the interrogations in stride. He didn’t seem at all concerned about being cornered and questioned at breakfast.

“How’s Captain Kirk’s kissing?” A particularly bold yeoman inquired.

“I do not know,” Spock said simply and Jim felt his stomach lurch. He tried not to groan aloud, but briefly brought his hand to cover his face, so that no one would catch his despairing look. Goddamn, this Vulcan really couldn’t lie, could he? “I have no point of comparison,” Spock added as the people around him seemed confused.

The yeoman didn’t take this as Spock never having kissed Jim, “so you’ve never been with anyone else?”

“No, I have not,” he agreed and Jim let out a long sigh. At least Spock could twist the truth to allow them to keep up the ruse. And that was lucky. Had Spock really never been with anyone else? Or had he found a loophole around that question like… he took “been with” as something completely different than what the yeoman meant?

“So, how did you two meet?” One of the younger ensigns asked, talking louder than a few others in the group. It was fortune he was particularly loud, considering a few inappropriate snatches of words here and there. Jim was certainly the questions were joking, but he didn’t think Spock knew how to differentiate between a joke and a serious question. He would have to remind them of appropriate behavior for a crewman. At least he would feel a little less hypocritical now that he was in a monogamous, long-term relationship. Pretend or not. It still counted, he reasoned, because he wasn’t going to be seeing anyone else for a year. Well, a little under a year now. He was keeping track.

“We met in Computer Programming 101-“ “We met at a party-“ The two spoke at the same time and looked at each other. A few people giggled, but most looked confused.

Jim was quick to jump to the rescue. “What Spock means to say-“ He began, but wasn’t sure where he was going with the sentence. Thankfully, Spock read this quickly and saved him.

“I was a teaching assistant in Jim’s computer programming class,” Spock answered. Had he been? Spock couldn’t lie, right? Wow. How had he never noticed him?

“-But we weren’t actually introduced until a party,” Jim added quickly, trying to save face. It appeared to satisfy some of the curious looks around the table. They really needed to get a story, didn’t they?

“Well, what happened?” One of the crewmembers pressed, voice filled with curiosity. “Tell us the whole story!”

“The whole story?” Jim winced slightly and looked over at Spock, who remained emotionless. Right. No help there. He was going to have to hurry on that “translating Spock’s facial expressions guide.” Spock didn’t seem forthcoming, however, so Jim would have to pick up the slack. “I met Spock at a party…” They should make it spectacular, right? Something memorable. A way you would expect soulmates to meet. “In Venice.”

“Venice?” One yeoman gasped. “How romantic!”

Jim had visited Venice once – it was a very nice place. The whole group was watching Jim with rapt attention now… which could be problematic. He needed to improvise a full story. Unfortunately, Jim had this very bad habit of being overdramatic in front of a crowd. Even on diplomatic missions – the biggest complaint he ever got was his tendency to ham it up when everyone was focused on him. But… might as well go all in, right? A romance to tell through the ages.

“Well,” he decided to begin at the most famous feature of Venice, “we were both touring the streets along the Venetian canals. I bumped into Spock,” after all, what great romances began with “our friend set us up” or “I started grinding on him at a party?” People were always surprised to learn Jim was well-read. And he liked the classics. Now what could be better than bumping into each other by chance in Venice? Unless there was a blood feud between their families, of course. “And his bag fell to the ground. I politely helped him retrieve his things and our hands touched for one instant. In that moment, I felt as if I was standing still and the ground below was moving,” Jim put his hand on his heart dramatically and dared not to look at Spock. If he was getting to know his fake boyfriend at all, he expected he would be having the Vulcan version of a fit. His eyebrow would be raised just a little higher than normal. “My heart beat faster. I gasped for breath…” He inhaled deeply for show. Oh yes, somehow imagining sending Spock into a fit made him want to exaggerate more.

“For the next few days, fate caused us to bump into each other. At times here…at times there…and I finally gathered the courage to say something to him. I said ‘why are you following me around?’ But Spock gave me the typical raise of his eyebrow and walked away. Alas! Why didn’t my tongue shred to pieces? I searched everywhere for him. I didn’t even know his name to call out to him! I was invited to a party by some of my Italian friends. I went to the party by the seaside and I saw him. My legs trembled as I moved towards him. Bathed in the moonlight with his skin practically luminescent and I finally asked him for his name. And with a soft sigh on his lips he whispered to me: _Spock_.”

Jim let out a long, satisfied sigh and looked over at a completely mortified Spock. The Vulcan, to most, would look normal, but the thinning of his lips and the flaring of his nostrils alerted Jim to Spock’s mood. “What a wonderful story,” Spock deadpanned. Jim wondered if he imagined the sarcasm. But it was lost on their attentive and lovestruck audience.

“How beautiful.”

“That’s so sweet!”

“I think I’m going to cry.”

Spock continued to stare at Jim with the same look on his face, not blinking. “Jim,” he said slowly, his nostrils flaring again. Was Spock mad? “Perhaps we should leave.”

Ah, perfect time to exit. Everyone had had their fill. “I think everyone has had enough fun harassing Spock,” they stood up in unison. “Come on,” he put his hand on Spock’s back and smiled at their audience. . “Let’s go back to the room.”

After they left the cafeteria, Jim scanned for anyone walking in the hallways before speaking. “What exactly were you telling everyone?” He nearly demanded, struggling to keep the annoyance out of his voice. It was a pot calling the kettle black of sorts, considering how over the top Jim had gone, but since Spock couldn’t lie, he should let Jim take the reins.

“I was simply answering their questions.”

It took more effort with that one not to appear irritated. He counted to ten in his head. “And what sort of questions did you answer?” Jim pressed – he needed to know what their story had to be now that Spock had gone around telling everyone the truth.

“Well, Gaila inquired as to your sexual prowess-”

“And you told her we’ve never had sex,” it wasn’t a question.

“Indeed, captain. This question seemed to intrigue the others in the room. They asked why we had yet engage in intercourse and I told them we were not at that point in our relationship.”

 “Fine,” Jim pressed his lips together. That was fair enough. “What else?”

“I was asked how long we’d known each other. I was grateful for the wording, rather than asking how long we had been together. I told them we’d known each other for five years.”

So that was safe. They’d already agreed that was how they would answer those types of questions. “Is that it?”

“One person asked a rather personal question,” that didn’t surprise him, “and I told him under no uncertain terms that it was none of his business.” That did.

Did Spock have an attitude? The first thing that came to mind was that trait was sexy… if Spock were a woman, of course.

“You came in at that moment, Jim.”

“Well, thank god for that,” Jim muttered.

“Jim,” Spock stopped walking, his hands clasped behind his back. He glanced down the corridor once more. “I must admit I am… unsure of your intentions with the story you told.”

“My intentions?” Jim should have been surprised Spock brought it up. He was clearly distressed by it – even if he would never voice it. “I just wanted to give them a believable story.”

“Believable?” Jim may have noticed there was more white around Spock’s irises than usual. Or was he imagining things? “Jim, it would be easy to determine for anyone curious enough that we were not in Venice at the same time to have met-“

“Calm down, Spock,” Jim put his hand on his shoulder, trying to brush off his concerns. “If anyone digs deep enough into it, I’ll just say I lied because I wanted to impress the crew and that we just met in computer programming. Okay? People who know me would believe that.”

Spock glanced away for a moment – he was thinking about what Jim said. That was good. No protests, then? “I just don’t understand why you had to tell a false and rather… colorful story in the first place.”

“Romance, Spock. Come on,” he shook his head. “I know Vulcans aren’t known for their hopeless romantic hearts,” which Jim admittedly had a slight inclination towards. “But everyone wants a good ‘how we met’ story. And this time I get to make one up. Who gets the chance to choose how they met their boyfriend?” Spock quirked his eyebrow. “Besides,” he said as they stopped at their quarters and the doors slid open, “it’s more believable that we’re in some whirlwind romance if we have a good story.”

For several moments, Spock didn’t say anything – just stood on the inside of the door as it slid shut behind him. Jim went to the replicator to get a new cup of coffee.

“Spock,” he began, struck with a sudden thought. “That whole… ‘never been with anyone else’ thing… is that true? I mean, that you’ve never been in a serious relationship before.”

Spock paused before answering, but he moved from the door. “Vulcans do not engage in relationships lightly. It is not one of my most immediate needs and I find I manage quite well without one. So, no, I have not been in a relationship before.”

“Oh,” Jim said simply, not sure how else to respond. “Okay,” he sat down at the table and spun the coffee in his hand before taking a sip.  “Why were you in the cafeteria anyways? You know you can just replicate food in here.”

“I did not want to disturb you, Jim.”

…This was going to work out just fine.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim and Spock weren’t an overly affectionate couple, as the crew quickly learned. For the first few weeks, crewmembers peered around corners and eavesdropped on the new couple hoping for some display of intimacy. At most they got the two holding hands. Spock always seemed hesitant to initiate this action, but Jim made up for it by slipping his hand into Spock’s any time they were walking side by side. Once, Jim hugged Spock, who appeared to be too shocked to return. It had turned out incredibly awkward, so Jim decided not to do it again. After all, they didn’t really need to hug for the sake of others and it seemed to make Spock uncomfortable. All in all, there really weren’t many outward signs of affection. Despite the lack thereof, however, the pair was nearly inseparable. The worked the same shifts, ate all meals together, and spent the nights together. On occasion, Jim would spend an evening with Doctor McCoy and Spock would, supposedly, spend those evenings alone. The majority of the crew didn’t doubt the reality of their relationship, although Uhura remained skeptical.

For all that she was suspicious of Jim, she didn’t hold it against Spock. She actually seemed to like him. Their consoles weren’t far apart and occasionally she’d make an offhand comment to Spock. Jim couldn’t glean much from their interactions, but, as far as he could tell, Spock seemed to like Uhura. At least he didn’t mind her. He never had that minute strained tone in his voice when the talked to her – the tone that meant he was having his patience tested.

Not all evenings were spent separate, however. Jim couldn’t hide out at McCoy’s every night – even more than worrying about a crew who noticed their captain was never with his boyfriend, was that Bones simply didn’t have the patience to deal with Jim for that long. He always did something to exasperate him. So, he figured he had to give Bones a break every once in a while.

The evenings spent with Spock were rather nice, actually. They were always quiet and relaxing. Most of the time, Jim lounged on the bed or on the sofa and read books on his PADD. Spock would sit straight backed at the desk on the computer, going through his programming or lab reports. There were a few nights that they both reclined on the bed and Jim would read and Spock would… do whatever it was he did on his PADD. Jim actually liked this setup a little more than sitting on opposite sides of the room. Partially because he didn’t have to call across their quarters each time he wanted to talk to Spock. It was also better because when Spock was doing things on his PADD, it was much less serious work. He was usually scanning through some papers or making minor adjustments to things. Jim had to have a good reason to interrupt Spock when he was on the computer, but when he was in bed with his tablet things were different. Jim could talk to him about the book he was reading, or even have a conversation about the goings on of the ship. Spock didn’t talk a lot and would continue to read as Jim spoke, but he was good company. And he was always listening. No matter how distracted he seemed. Jim had tried to test out how well Spock was listening before only to have it thrown in his face. Still fun to try to trip Spock up every once in a while.

At one point, it came up that they both liked playing chess. At first, Spock had seemed almost dismissive – severely underestimating Jim’s skill at the game. Spock thought logically, and he must have assumed he was better suited to playing chess. But Jim liked to take risks and he’d beaten Spock at their first game together by making “a most illogical move.” After that, Spock had become very keen on their matches. They challenged each other at the game and they tended to win and lose equally, so it was a nice, quiet way to pass the time.

At one point, though, Uhura started spending more time with the pair. It started with her hanging out with Spock – the two talking late into the night about Xenoanthropology and other intellectual excursions. On nights when Spock and Uhura spent time together, Jim and McCoy would drink until the doctor kicked Jim out of the room. Often he ended up back in his quarters while Spock and Uhura were still talking and, eventually, he started joining them. Uhura still reacted to Jim with some suspicion, but he didn’t let it get to him. And she seemed to be warming up to him regardless of what she thought of his relationship with Spock.

 “Video call waiting for Captain James T. Kirk,” a voice sounded on the intercom early one morning. Jim sat up and looked at the computer screen blearily. Spock was already missing from the bed. He heard some movement in the bathroom and yawned. Well, he supposed he could answer it. If it happened to be confidential, Spock wasn’t in the room. It must be pretty important to be put through anyways. He flipped on the computer screen next to his bed and pulled it out, bringing it closer. It was a message on his personal line. Not many people knew that. Who would be calling him?

Curious, Jim hit the accept button on the call and pulled the sheets around his naked chest.

“James T. Kirk!” The image of his mother appeared on the screen.

“Mom!” He exclaimed, rolling out of his bed quickly and attempting to fix his hair. Why was she calling?!

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Umm….ahhh…tell you what, Mom?” He was only half focused on the screen, the other half desperately covering his body with a sheet while trying to get to clothes. Spock, used to the heat of Vulcan, kept the room unusually hot. Jim usually didn’t complain and took to walking around the room in minimal clothes. However, he hadn’t expected his mom to ever call him when he was wearing only boxers. He yanked on his pants quickly, trying to do it out of the range of the viewing screen.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?”

Oh no. Jim felt the dread welling in his stomach. How had word gotten to her? What did he do? He couldn’t lie to her… but he couldn’t blow his and Spock’s cover, either. “Mom-“

“You kept it from me all these years!” She exclaimed, a stern look on her face. “And to think, I was worried I went wrong with you!” What did that mean?

Jim was still trying to kick his brain into gear and stopped searching for a shirt, narrowing his eyes at the view screen. “Wrong with me? What are you talking about?”

“All those arrests! All those failed relationships! I thought, surely, I hadn’t raised you right!” She took a long, deep breath and then a smile broke out on her face. “But all along you were gay!”

Jim was… baffled. “Are you… _happy_ that I’m gay?”

“More than happy, Jim! I’m ecstatic! You were just struggling with your sexuality! And those failed relationships weren’t because I went wrong. You were gay all along!”

“Mom. Mom-“ Jim was trying to get her attention, but Spock chose that inconvenient time to walk back into their quarters. And, unfortunately, he was looking unusually attractive. He appeared to have just gotten out of the shower – so his bowl cut was mussed and he was wearing what Jim had secretly – very secretly, mind you – dubbed his “sexy pajamas.” When Jim had asked about the tightly-fitted black set, Spock had responded that he had bought the wrong size, and since they were just pajamas and no one was intended to see them, he hadn’t bothered to exchange them. A sliver of pale skin between where the shirt ended and the pants began teased Jim from across the room.

Jim ignored the tightening in his throat and the fact that his heart had skipped a beat.

Spock wasn’t paying attention to Jim. He walked along behind him towards the dresser, but he must have come into his mother’s line of sight.

“Is that him? Tell him to come closer! I want to meet him!”

Jim winced to himself. Oh, this couldn’t be good. But he caught Spock’s attention regardless. “Spock, my mother wants to meet you.”

Spock raised his eyebrow and complied, kneeling next to Jim to see the view screen. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, I heard he was a Vulcan, but nobody told me he was cute! Jimmy, you sure know how to pick them!” She smiled at Spock widely. Oh god, this was a disaster. How was Jim going to explain this to her later? She was so happy! Jim knew she felt guilty for leaving him and his brother with their lazy, unemployed step-father so often, but she had been trying to provide for all of them. He hadn’t seen her smile so much since her second wedding when he had been seven years old. “I’m Winona Kirk. It’s so nice to meet you, Spock. How long have you and Jim been seeing each other?”

“On and off for the past five years,” Spock said, as they’d rehearsed. It was always nice when the phrasing was open-ended. They were particularly fond of the phrase “seeing one another” because they had, in fact, seen one another on and off, but not been together. The ambiguous wording was always a godsend.

“That long?”

“Our relationship did not become serious until recently.”

“Weren’t you mad that Jimmy dated all those women?”

“I dated them in between our break-ups, mom,” Jim butted in, “I didn’t cheat on him, okay?”

“I wasn’t trying to imply that,” his mother frowned.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Kirk, as a Vulcan, I do not anger easily.”

“Call me Winona.” Her smiled returned and she looked at him with endearment. “And that just makes you perfect for my Jimmy.”

“Mom-“ Jim started to complain.

“Don’t take that tone with me, young man.”

“Mom, it’s getting late. Spock and I have to get ready for our shift.”

Winona looked a bit put out, but sighed and nodded. “All right. I won’t keep you from work. But make sure you call me to give me all of the details, Mr. Kirk. Spock, I look forward to meeting you in person one day,” she said and the viewing screen went black.

“Your mother seems very nice,” Spock commented lightly. Jim couldn’t place the tone. He didn’t seem bothered. Just more… contemplative? Curious? Amused? It wasn’t negative, whatever it was.

But Jim had something else on his mind. He had planned on his family not knowing about him and Spock, and even if they were to know, he would have expected either skepticism or disaster from his mother. It should have been a relief when he told her the truth. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell her we’re not together.”

“There’s no need to worry about it yet, Jim.”

 “I know,” he sighed, appreciative of Spock’s effort at support, “but I hate disappointing her. Who would have known she’d be happy about us?”

Spock stood up and started smoothing down his hair in the mirror. He looked confused for a moment. “You are upset she is reacting positively to our relationship.”

“Yes, Spock! She’ll be disappointed when she finds out it was all a lie!”

“I have come to understand that most gay couples experience the opposite problem.”

“But we’re not really a gay couple, Spock!”

“If you think about it, we may be,” Spock said and Jim gaped at him like a fish. “We are considered a couple officially by Starfleet. We share quarters, a bed, and time. We may, in fact, be a gay couple devoid of the romance and sexual interactions typically found in a human relationship.”

Jim gaped at Spock for what may have been a whole minute. “Not to quote Bones or anything, but…are you out of your Vulcan mind?! We are _not_ a couple! To be a couple, we’d need some sort of romance! People can’t have relationships without romance!”

Spock regarded him coolly for a moment. “If you feel the need to quote the good doctor to me, I will quote him back. Dammit, Jim, I am a science officer, not a relationship counselor. I do not know what you humans count as a relationship, but on Vulcan, we would be considered in a relationship.”

Jim stared and then the corners of his lips started to twitch. He fell into a fit of laughter. Spock was really something else. Jim considered him the most steadfast and predictable person he knew… but then he always managed to surprise him.

Spock was silent for a minute while Jim’s laughter died down. Jim may have even seen his lips tightening just a bit – like he might smile. Spock, of course, didn’t and grabbed a uniform out of the drawer. “I’m going to go change clothes,” they changed clothes in the bathroom…well, Spock did. Kirk changed wherever the hell he wanted. “I hope you are not too upset by the exchange with your mother.”

“I’ll be all right,” Jim shook him off quickly and watched the Vulcan disappear into the bathroom and said to himself, more quietly this time, “I’ll be all right.”

_My heart knows that if you’re around, I’ll be all right._

_*_

Jim and Spock were spending shore leave on the planet Gamma Alpha III. Spock had informed Jim that he wasn’t particularly fond of vacations, but it would have looked suspicious if they didn’t take shore leave together. Since Jim was the one who wanted to take shore leave, Spock got dragged along to a club. Bones thought going out to clubs was asinine and immature, but Spock must have told Uhura their plans, because she caught them down on the planet.

“It’s really beautiful here, isn’t it?” She commented after their initial greetings. She glanced up at the two moons in the inky black sky. It was nice, Jim could admit. The temperature was perfect, with a light breeze fluttering through every few minutes. “Where are you guys going?”

“Jim and I were-“

“Going to hang out for a bit,” Jim finished. He wasn’t sure he wanted to bring Uhura along to a club. Not if he was planning on drinking. Spock quirked his eyebrow but Jim detoured them to a park-like area and settled down in the grass. After exchanging looks, Spock and Uhura mimicked the action. Spock sat quietly, which was not unexpected. But Uhura was looking out at the alien trees, her expression contemplative. She didn’t seem to be herself. “Uhura, you okay?” He asked after a long moment.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she brushed off his concern, even though that made it abundantly clear that something was bothering her. Jim stayed quiet as she turned to look at him and, seeing he was being genuine, she sighed heavily. “It’s just that… this was not what I expected to be doing.”

Well that was unhelpfully vague. “What do you mean?”

Uhura cast him another long look as if she was weighing whether or not to divulge. “This,” she motioned between them. “It’s a gorgeous, romantic night and I’m stuck with my friend and his boyfriend. This just… wasn’t my plan.”

“Plan?” If she didn’t like it, she could just leave…

“Yeah, you know… my plan for life.” Oh. “I mean, I’m 27, still single, not where I want to be in my job right now. I mean, this was definitely not my plan.”

Jim blinked and looked at her. He hadn’t thought Uhura was unhappy in her position. “Then what was your plan?”

“In my plan, I’d have been the first officer by now – or at least a commander,” if Uhura had wanted to be first officer – why hadn’t she said anything? Given any indication? “And maybe even be married to someone like Spock,” she nodded towards him and Jim frowned.

Rather than get indignant with her, Jim knew she was just feeling a bit down. He could manage some words to help her feel better. “That’s okay. You had plans. I had plans. Everybody had plans. I planned to be an actor when I grew up. To have millions of fans who’d take pictures of me all day and night.”

“Obviously that didn’t happen,” Uhura deadpanned and Jim smiled at her briefly.

“And neither does one expect them to happen,” he pointed out. “Childhood dreams remain dreams. Right, Spock?” He asked for confirmation, but Spock remained silent. “Oh come on! No way! Are you serious?”

Spock still kept his lips together.

“You always wanted to be a science officer?”

“It was my goal for many years, yes.”

“You know what, Uhura? Let’s go,” he put his hand on her back and they stood up. He felt like being playful to lighten the mood. “Because there’s no place for losers like us in his perfect life. Let’s go to that corner and cry,” he pointed in some vague direction. “Come on!” He started to walk away and Uhura followed him.

“I do find my situation to be satisfactory,” Spock said lightly as they were leaving. “But that is in part because the two of you have a presence in it. Jim, if you had not been captain of the Enterprise, and, Uhura, if you had been her first officer, I don’t think we would have met. For me, I prefer our friendship to any of the plans I might have had.”

Jim’s draw went slightly slack and he was overcome with the urge to hug Spock, so he did. “Spock, I didn’t know you had it in you.” He glanced over at Uhura and waved her over. “Group hug!” He pulled her in and smiled. That was actually really nice. “Now let’s go to a club and have some fun.”

Jim learned a lot that particular evening, from the things they talked about in the park to the things they did in the club. Uhura didn’t seem to have the ability to hold her liquor all that well, but Spock was clearly an expert. Could Vulcans get drunk on alcohol? Spock informed him that, no, they could not and failed to reveal, what, if anything, could intoxicate them.

Uhura ended up dancing on the table and Spock quickly pulled her down, both of them falling on top of Jim. Thankfully, no one was hurt but their egos. Spock dusted himself off and Uhura smiled up at him. Jim had to help her to her feet.

Unfortunately, Uhura was able to pull herself from Jim’s grasp and got onto the table again. When Spock reached up to grab her again, she yanked him onto the table tops with her. Jim laughed and climbed up with the pair, Uhura and Jim dancing, while Spock stumbled around them and tried not to fall off. Jim laughed and Uhura smiled at him as they tried to teach Spock to dance.

Jim and Spock helped Uhura down the street after they managed to get her down from the table. Eventually, though Uhura was stumbling and Jim saw double, they found their way back to the ship.

They ended back up in Jim and Spock’s quarters, and replicated more alcohol. They spent the evening telling stories and laughing loudly. Jim and Uhura were able to get it out of Spock that Vulcans got drunk from chocolate. The pair replicated as much chocolate as possible and insisted Spock needed to catch up.

Spock was a very calm drunk. His gaze was unfocused and he stammered a bit. He gave them random facts that did not pertain to the conversation.

“You know, Uhura,” Jim leaned forward, like he was divulging a very important secret, “Spock is actually a very funny guy.”

“Trust me, captain. I know very well how funny he is. I’m his friend, too.”

“No no,” he shook his head insistently. “I’m his special friend. His most special friend,” Jim grinned and leaned his head on Spock’s shoulder. Spock didn’t move. “Chekov even said we’re a cute couple.”

“And Chekov’s never been wrong about anything,” Uhura’s sarcasm was still top notch even though she was drunk.

“Actually, when it comes to Chekov’s world history, his facts are wrong 32.5 percent of the time,” Spock’s ability to detect sarcasm also seemed impaired.

“No way,” Jim deadpanned, but Spock didn’t catch that, either.

“Admittedly, Jim, my percentage cannot be calculated with total accuracy due to my impaired state.”

“Okay, you two,” Uhura narrowed her eyes like she was trying to focus. “What is happening? I mean… you actually seem like you’re together.”

“We are,” Jim insisted.

Uhura didn’t seem satisfied by this, so she turned to Spock.

“We are together,” he confirmed. She quirked an eyebrow at him, still disbelieving. She rested her cheek on her hand, leaning over the table.

“Are you sure? Spock’s not really your,” she paused and brought a hand to her lips, “type.”

Jim was just relieved her moment of queasiness seemed to have passed.

“What? Are you kidding? He’s just my type,” Jim protested and leaned back in his chair. “I like Spock’s… eyes. They’re so dark I could get lost in them. And he’s soothing. He calms me when I’m upset. He’s a rock. I like his pointed ears. I don’t know, I’m really into them. It’s nice to have someone so predictable by my side. I always know where Spock is. He’s not going to leave me. He cares for me, underneath it all.”

But his words fell on deaf ears. Uhura had fallen asleep in her seat. Spock was looking at him with mild curiosity now, however unfocused his gaze may be.

“Jim… I think…” Spock slowly stood up, “I will retire now.”

Jim watched him walk rather calmly over to the bed and lie down. He was asleep almost instantly and Jim could see a sliver of skin around his hips.

“And I really like his sexy pajamas,” he whispered to himself.

*

The next shore leave was spent on a planet that was sunny and bright. This time, Bones joined them rather than Uhura, rather pleased by the idea of sipping drinks on the sandy beaches. Jim decided no drinking this shore leave, considering how he’d felt the night after he’d spent shore leave with Spock and Uhura. Thankfully, neither of them made a mention of the words passed between them. Either they simply didn’t remember or they thought better than to bring it up.

They chose a spot on the beach that was crowded with locals, but no other crew members in sight. Spock dressed in a simple, black, long-sleeved shirt and uniform pants while Jim and Bones were both dressed in swim trunks. Spock wouldn’t swim and sat on the beach while Bones and Jim ran into the green-colored sea.

With just the three of them, Jim openly stared at all the scantily-clad women roaming the beach. He ended up playing a ball game with several girls. As they tossed the ball around, Jim noticed Spock pulling his shirt over his head in the distance.

The ball smacked Jim on the side of the face. 

*

Then, one evening, Jim came back to his quarters to see Spock and Uhura watching a film. Jim decided he would join them, but, unfortunately, it was a horror film. They were sitting on the couch together, Spock and Uhura watching aptly while Jim huddled up in terror.

He didn’t usually scare easily, but he could be brave under pressure. When it came to movies, he had the luxury of being scared. Uhura noticed he was closing his eyes and prodded Spock. The pair looked at Jim and Uhura began to tease him.

Uhura disappeared to bring them more popcorn from the replicator, she let out a blood-curdling scream and Jim jumped out of his seat. Uhura giggled and Spock quirked his eyebrow in his usual manner. Jim threw his popcorn at her and Spock ducked out of the way. She pulled at the popcorn that littered her hair and tossed it back at him. 

Shaking the stray pieces of popcorn out of his hair, Spock stood up just as Uhura was throwing popcorn at Jim. Spock and Jim both got showered in popcorn and Jim finally caught Uhura, knocking Spock over the back of the couch in the process, and wrestled the bag from her hands. He dumped the remainder on her head.

Uhura fell asleep on the couch and Spock and Jim joined each other in bed. Spock fell asleep quickly, but Jim remained awake, jumping at every creak in the ship. He pulled the blankets around his chin and looked over at the calmly sleeping Spock. He sucked in his pride and rested his head on Spock’s shoulder. 

*

The captain and bridge crew were enjoying a dinner with alien diplomats. It was a very relaxed setting; alcohol was passed around and everyone, save Spock, was laughing.

Chekov regaled everyone with stories from Russia while Scotty and Uhura chatted with the leader of the group. Sulu was talking to the leader’s husband, who also had an interest in botany. Bones was busy grumbling to Jim about diplomacy while Jim watched the daughter of the leader flirt with Spock. Spock was resistant and, when the girl didn’t seem to take the hint, he walked over to Jim and entwined his hand with the captain’s.

Spock escorted a drunken Jim back to their room and helped him to the bed. Jim smiled up at Spock and slid his arm around the only part of the Vulcan he could reach lying on the bed – his hips. “Spock,” he slurred the Vulcan’s name, “I’ve been meaning to ask. Are you gay?”

 “Jim, I don’t believe now is the time to be asking those sorts of questions,” Spock said gently and pulled out of the captain’s grasp. Jim blinked up at him blearily.

“It’s a simple question, Spock.”

“But not one with a necessarily simple answer.”

Jim let out a deflated sigh and watched Spock leave the bedside. “You Vulcans take all the fun out of things,” he huffed and turned away, on his side. Jim heard Spock’s footsteps stop at the doorway.

“What would it mean if I was gay?”

Rolling back over, Jim regarded the Vulcan standing with his back to him. “It would mean you like men, Spock,” he muttered before he passed out. 


	6. Chapter 6

“Spock! Can I have a word?”

Spock was being hailed by Doctor McCoy, who caught him just as he was walking into his quarters. How the good Doctor managed to find him anywhere on the ship continued to fascinate him. “Of course, Doctor McCoy,” Spock clasped his hands behind his back and stood in front of his door.

“Perhaps, inside,” curiously, Doctor McCoy had a polite tone and indicated the door. Spock punched in the code and the door slid open. Jim was not inside – he was still on the bridge. On occasion, their shifts didn’t overlap completely. The science officer wasn’t always needed on the bridge, but the captain was needed as often as possible.

“You may speak now, Doctor,” Spock said, turning to him as the door slid shut.

“Lights, eighty-percent,” McCoy said and the lights flicked on. “I need to talk to you, Spock.”

“I have given you permission to speak, Doctor,” Spock continued to stand as he watched the Doctor sit. After a moment, Spock understood and sat at the table across from McCoy. “What is it you wish to speak to me about?”

McCoy leaned forward and folded his hands together. “Do you like Jim?”

Perhaps he felt a slight hint of exasperation at Doctor McCoy’s prying. Not only that, Doctor McCoy was the only person who had a clear notion of what was really happening in Spock’s relationship with Jim. It seemed a bit absurd for him to ask such a question. “Doctor, I believe you are informed that the relationship between the Captain and I is falsified.”

“Don’t pull that bullshit on me, Spock,” McCoy snapped, his usual irritable self showing through. “I mean do you have feelings for Jim? Do you love him?”

Spock frowned. Where had Doctor McCoy gotten that idea? That was one of the pieces of information that Spock held closely to the chest. No one knew. He’d never spoken a word of it to anyone or even aloud. Spock stood up and walked over to the door. “That was a nice talk, Doctor. Please leave,” he said softly, hoping his voice would reveal nothing.

The doctor stood up, but didn’t go to the door. He walked over to Spock and hugged him. It was an odd feeling. Spock stiffened in the Doctor’s arms, but the other seemed unaffected by Spock’s discomfort. “Are you okay?” He asked as he pulled away from the Vulcan, his hands still grasping Spock’s arms. He seemed genuinely concerned. Spock was sure there was only one other time Spock had felt this shocked – and that was when Captain Kirk had approached him in the cafeteria. Why was he swimming in so many unexpected situations?

“I am Vulcan,” he replied simply, hoping it would answer the Doctor’s question well enough without having to answer it directly.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t feel, Spock,” the Doctor said in one of his rare, enlightened moments. His hands fell and he walked to the door, but Spock’s curiosity got the better of him.

“How did you know, Doctor?”

Doctor McCoy turned around and looked at Spock tiredly. “Jim may not remember that night. But I do. No one jumps in the water without so much as a thought to save someone they don’t know.”

So the Doctor had remembered? Fascinating. But basing his deductions on one event several years past was not a stable foundation for guesses. “Doctor, that was not-“

“Listen, Spock, I started watching you after that. I saw the way you looked at him.” Had Spock looked at Jim a certain way? He thought he’d concealed his attentions rather skillfully. “I was shocked when I found out Jim had dragged you into this whole charade. And you still look at him the same way.”

Spock wouldn’t deny the allegations, but he did have some reservations about what the Doctor would do now. “Doctor, I hope you will use your discretion with this information,” Spock said softly and McCoy clapped him on the shoulder.

“I’ll take it to the grave, Spock. And I’m really…truly sorry,” he said before leaving. Spock sat down heavily and massaged his temples.

As they were masquerading as a couple, he had expected his real attraction to go unnoticed. The only person he had expected to hide his attraction from was the captain himself – not forgetting about the doctor, but not expecting him to be so perceptive. He had clearly underestimated Doctor McCoy.

Spock decided to meditate for a while when he got a call from the call on the comm system. “Bridge to Mr. Spock.”

“This is Spock.”

“Mr. Spock, please report to the bridge.”

Spock arrived on the bridge quickly and Kirk spun on him. “Mr. Spock,” he smiled, “we’ve just arrived in orbit around the moon Vargo.”

Spock took a moment to process the information – drawing from his memory the name. Curious. “Vargo, captain?” He clarified. “I believe it was made clear that Vargo had no interest in negotiations or liaisons with the Federation. The Enterprise was assigned to the first mission to Vargo, I believe.”

“They’ve changed their minds, it seems.” Well, that certainly piqued his interest, but the Captain failed to offer the reasoning behind the deicision. “They requested both you and I be there and any other member of the crew is invited,” the Captain stood from his seat. “Lieutenant Uhura, I want two security team members and…uhh…you haven’t been on shore leave in a while, Uhura, why don’t you come along? And…let’s see….Chekov, you come, too. You haven’t met the lovely people of Vargo, have you? Mr. Sulu, you have the conn.”

Spock’s lips thinned. He would have selected different crew members – ones more adept at dealing with diplomatic situations. Uhura was a good selection for her language skills, but Chekov-

“Stop it.”

“Captain?”

“You’re thinking.”

“Captain, I’m not sure I understand-“

“You’re contradicting me with your thoughts,” he pointed at Spock accusingly. “I can see it in your face. Don’t do it.”

Really, Spock was beginning to wonder if his facial expressions were so easily read that both Jim and Doctor McCoy had been able to do so without apparent difficulty. Spock raised his eyebrow and followed the captain into the turbolift. They met with Uhura, the security officers, and Chekov in the transporter room.

“Well, second time’s the charm, I guess,” Scotty muttered into the console as they beamed down.

The humanoid race inhabiting the moon was very welcoming to the small landing party. The appeared onto a platform of intricately carved stone and the leader, wearing long purple robes, smiled warmly when they appeared. “Captain Kirk! It is so good to see you again!”

“High counselor, I can’t say I expected to see you again,” Jim responded with the polite, charming tone he used with diplomats he was trying to impress.

“Neither did we, but due to recent circumstances, we have decided to reconsider.”

“What, may I ask, prompted this reconsideration?” This species appeared to harbor no malicious intent, but the decision to reconsider was cause for concern.

“Ah, Mr. Spock!” The counselor smiled and greeted him. “It is actually you who prompted the reconsideration.

“Come again?” the Captain leaned towards them.

“Captain,” the counselor’s honey sweet smile was now directed at him, “you told us the Federation was a multi-racial organization. You told us equality was very important to the Federation – as important as it is to our people. But you did not show us.”

“What do you mean?”

“We did notice your gender equality – both men and women serving, and both in positions of power. However, you failed to show us your species egalitarianism. Your crew was entirely human, yet you claimed many other planets were involved in the Federation.”

“So…you’re reconsidering because we have a Vulcan first officer now?”

“Partially, Captain. We were also very pleased to learn that both you and Mr. Spock are homosexuals. Sexual equality is also very important to us.”

Very logical reasoning. However, the Captain blinked several times and opened his mouth repeatedly before uttering “come again?”

“You must forgive Captain Kirk, counselor. Humans are very private about their personal lives, and many do not share their sexual or romantic activities with those they are unfamiliar with,” Spock quickly filled the silence, sensing the Captain’s confusion and possible indignation with the insinuation. “It is considered taboo to speak of sexual encounters of any sort with strangers on Earth.”

“Forgive me for my lack of tact, Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk. I was unaware of Terran societal taboos.” 

“Oh, that’s fine,” Jim, blushing a little, waved his hand. “So, you’ve decided to reconsider because of-“

“I think it’s clear why they decided to reconsider, Captain,” Spock interrupted him quickly, anticipating a bit of tension surrounding the topic should it continue.

“Right,” the captain still appeared to be distracted, but did not continue further.

“Gentlemen, I’m afraid you’ve reached us at the end of our day. We hope it would not trouble you to enter negotiations tomorrow morning?”

“No trouble at all,” Kirk said, pulling himself together now that they were on a different topic. “We’ll just beam aboard our ship and beam down in the morning,” he pulled his communicator out, but the high counselor stopped him.

“Captain, you do us great insult. We will provide lodgings for you here.”

“Well, if you insist,” the captain clapped his hands together. Spock and he, of course, were given a room to share. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for them for them to spend the night together – they even shared a bed in their quarters, but Jim seemed rather distraught. “It’s one thing to lie a little to Starfleet, but now my gayness is spreading across the galaxy! I won’t be able to ever get laid again!” Themelodramatic show, Spock suspected, was, in part, joking.

“Captain, this is an opportunity we may not be able to revisit. Not many reconsider admission into the Federation. Not so easily.”

“It’s based on a lie, Spock!”

“Not necessarily, captain. I am a Vulcan, which is one of the reasons they reconsidered.”

“Are you gay?” Jim asked suddenly.

The Captain’s mind certainly could jump around. “Jim…”

“You didn’t answer me last time. I want an answer now, Spock.”

Spock considered the consequences of answering the question before doing so. “Yes.” It was illogical to continue to avoid the question.

A grin suddenly appeared on Kirk’s face, his playful demeanor bouncing right back. “I knew it. Tell me, Spock, as a gay man, am I just as attractive to men as I am to women?”

“Jim, you are most definitely a ladies’ man.” It was true. Jim was quite interesting to women, but Spock phrased the answer so it implied Jim would not be appealing to a homosexual man. Jim’s queries were getting too close to Spock’s private thoughts, so he had to deflect somehow, even if it caused the captain’s face to fall.

“Really? Are you sure it’s not just you? I thought I’d be rather irresistible.”

“I am sure you are very attractive.” Perhaps there was a hint of playfulness in Spock’s tone, but he would never admit to it.

“You say that like you don’t think so.”

“Jim-“

The door suddenly opened to Spock’s – very brief – relief. However, the chancellor’s daughter walked in. “We are having a festival tonight.. We hope you would join us,” she was only staring at the captain, which Spock understood – the captain had a sort of magnetism. But it didn’t mean he liked it. He expected she was a potential problem.

“Of course,” Jim smiled and followed her, leaving Spock to walk alone behind them.

“Captain,” Spock said imploringly, trying to catch his attention.

“You don’t have to refer to him by those formal terms around us. This is a casual gathering,” the woman smiled back at them, but the conversation caught Jim’s attention.

“Yes, Spock?”

“May I speak with you for a moment?”

Jim looked at the woman and then smiled his apology before walking back to the room with Spock. “What is it?”

“Jim, I hope you will behave appropriately tonight.”

Immediately, Jim was on the defensive. “What the hell does that mean, Spock?”

“It means that to these people, we are in a relationship. It would not do for them to think otherwise,” he looked pointedly at the counselor’s daughter. He didn’t need to be delicate for a situation like this. Not for Jim.

“What, do you think I hit on every alien chick I see?” Jim seemed to be insulted and he left Spock to join the counselor’s daughter, but Spock did not understand why. It was common knowledge that Jim had a particular interest in women, especially those not of his own planet. He was simply taking a precaution by reminding the Captain of his responsibilities.

Their “festival” seemed to be mostly talking and excessive drinking. For Spock, this was potentially problematic. The captain had come close to slipping even when sober. Unfortunately, Jim brushed Spock off, leaving him to lean against a wall and stare while the captain flirted with the counselor’s daughter.

“Humans have very odd customs,” Spock straightened his posture when the counselor came up beside him.

“Indeed they do. Many times I find myself baffled by Jim’s behavior. But I have come to understand in my time aboard the Enterprise that humans are unusually friendly,” he clasped his hands behind his back uncomfortably.

“I presume this is not the case with Vulcans,” to which Spock nodded in agreement. “An interspecies relationship must come with a lot of problems.”

“It can be difficult,” Spock commented lightly.

“I can imagine. On Vargo, one’s significant other does not kiss another person.”

“Pardon?” Spock blinked and turned around, seeing Jim and the counselor’s daughter in a dark corner, intertwined and pressing their lips together. Spock felt a sick boiling in his blood as he stormed over to the pair and gripped Jim’s arm tightly.

“Spock!” Jim struggled to free himself from the Vulcan’s grip, but Spock pinched his shoulder and he slumped to the ground. He nodded politely to the young woman and lifted Jim.

“Counselor, if you will excuse me,” he left the room carrying Jim over his shoulder. He dropped the limp body on the bed in their shared room and Jim started to stir.

“Spock, what the hell?” He jumped and looked around wildly. However, he seemed to ascertain they were back in their room and the panic died down a little. “Did you nerve pinch me?”

“You were behaving inappropriately,” Spock said smoothly, his voice disguising his annoyance with the Captain. He was going to get them caught and both Jim and Spock would lose their positions. It would be unlikely they could get another job with Starfleet or the Federation, either. Not only that, but by practically anyone’s standards but Jim’s, they were in a relationship and Jim had violated the implicit (and explicit) code that came with such an agreement.

“I was just having a little fun!” Jim snapped back. “I’ve been stuck pretending to be gay for months! I’m not used to celibacy, Spock. I just wanted a kiss!”

“What is wrong with you two?” The door on their room was thrown open and Uhura stormed in. She put a hand on her hip and looked between them. “Did you just forget you have responsibilities?”

“The captain and I were just discussing a personal matter,” Spock said calmly, trying to avoid her anger. “We will be prepared to rejoin the festivities shortly.”

“Personal matter? You were carrying the captain out of the room like a caveman!”

“The captain is right here,” Jim waved at them pointedly and Uhura turned to him now.

“I’m sure the act was well-deserved, Jim Kirk,” Uhura pointed at him, but when she lowered her finger, her expression seemed to soften. “Is everything all right between you two?”

“Yeah,” Jim nodded, looking at Spock. “It is. I’m sorry, Spock. Sometimes I don’t think.”

How could Uhura get such a quick apology out of Jim? “Apology accepted.” Was it that she was an outsider on the argument? Spock had found that some humans reacted with hostility when an outside point of view was given while others seemed to find outsider involvement a sign that the conflict needed to be resolved. However, while Jim’s reactions were mixed when it came to interference, it was very rarely the latter reaction that Spock observed. Sometimes humans tended to be more acquiescent if they wished to engage the person in sexual intercourse, but like Jim said, he was currently celibate and would remain that way until his relationship with Spock was terminated. There would be no reason for Jim to give in to Uhura. Right?

As soon as Uhura disappeared, Jim turned his glare to Spock. “We are on a diplomatic mission. What are they going to think after they saw you do that?!”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Spock retorted, calm now.

“Don’t, Spock. Just… don’t,” Jim hissed and slammed the door on his way out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Jim was pissed at Spock. Six months was a long relationship for him. Everyone thought they were a couple anyways. It would be believable if they broke up, right? Jim supposed the biggest reason he was angry was he knew Spock was right. However, this didn’t stop Jim from ignoring his first officer completely. He didn’t eat with the Vulcan anymore and spent his nights sleeping on Gaila’s couch. He had tried to take up McCoy’s couch, but the doctor seemed to be mad at him for some unknown reason. He’d tried to keep his slip up quiet, but things had a tendency of getting around on the Enterprise.

While eating dinner off Spock’s schedule and in a cafeteria he didn’t frequent, his PADD blinked at him with a message.

 _How long are you planning on avoiding me?_ The message asked and Jim ignored it. He stabbed his food sullenly, but the PADD blinked again with another message.

 _The crew is beginning to grow suspicious. If you must remain upset with me, please do so in a way that will not arouse their suspicions._ Jim ignored it again, but that didn’t stop Spock from sending a third message.

_Is this about Vargo?_

Now Jim couldn’t resist, so he picked up the PADD to respond. _Of course it is._

“I fail to see why,” Jim jumped at the sound of the voice and saw Spock standing in the doorway, PADD in hand. “My response was logical and you are free to pursue women after your relationship with me is terminated.”

“Spock!” Jim snapped, looking around the cafeteria, expecting to see people listening in, but they were alone. “I thought I made it clear enough I want to be left alone.”

“You did, but clearly not talking was ineffective,” Spock sat down beside him at the table. “Jim, I believe the agreement was one year together and then you could go back to pursuing whoever you pleased.”

“Don’t you think six months is long enough, Spock?”

“It isn’t,” Spock said simply. “Jim, I must advise you, if you want to keep the Enterprise, it is best to keep up this ruse. However, if you want to sacrifice both of our careers and your ship for the sake of your sexual needs, then I guess I must relent and allow you to do so.”

Jim made an angry noise and glared at Spock – not because they were arguing, but because Spock was completely and totally right… and it was driving Jim insane. “Damn your Vulcan logic,” he finally sighed and slumped his shoulders. “You’re right, Spock. You’re right. I can’t let some lady get between me and my true love.”

When Jim turned to smile at Spock a bit to let him know they were good, there was a very odd expression on Spock’s face. While others would just see his usual emotionless expression, Jim had gotten quite adept at reading Spock’s emotions from his face. He could tell when Spock was annoyed with him, or contradicting him, or pleased by something he did, confused by something “illogical,” disapproving, when Spock was telling a joke…but this look, it was something he couldn’t place at all. Finally, Jim realized what he could be implying and then laughed, correcting himself quickly. “With the Enterprise, Spock. The Enterprise.”

“Of course.” 

*

“Captain, message from Starfleet.” The message came through during a particularly vicious chess match between him and Spock one evening. Spock was at the top of his game and Jim was struggling not to get his ass handed to him. He walked over to the viewscreen.

“Send it through, Lieutenant,” Jim sighed and straightened his shirt.

“Captain Kirk,” an admiral appeared on the screen – one Jim was unfamiliar with.

“Admiral,” he greeted politely.

“Captain, you are ordered to divert to Rigel VII. There you will pick up two ambassadors for transport to Deneva. You will also play host to a member of a board of inquiry. He will also depart to Deneva.”

“A board of inquiry? What for?”

“We received communication that your relationship with Commander Spock might not be genuine. A board of inquiry has been assembled to determine the truth behind the allegations.”

WHAT? Jim almost shouted, but restrained himself. He glanced at Spock, who was out of the screen’s range. His eyebrow was raised, but he made no other movement. “We will divert to Rigel VII immediately.”

The admiral nodded before saying “Starfleet out.” The screen flicked off and Spock walked to the Captain. “This is problematic.”

“I’ll say. My mother’s an ambassador on Rigel VII.” 

*

“Jim! It’s so good to see you!” A wide grin lit up his mother’s lined face. She gave him a tight hug before turning to Spock, who was standing stiffly beside Jim. “And Spock! It’s great to finally meet you in person!” Much to what Jim was sure was Spock’s horror, she drew him into a hug as well. Although he seemed uncomfortable, he fell into the hug and returned it with much more ease than Jim expected.

“Ambassadors, Inquirer, we expect to be arriving to Deneva in two days. You’ll be shown to your quarters and we’d like you to join the officers for dinner.”

“Captain Kirk,” the Inquirer caught his attention, “I’m council member Ramesh Chopra. I will need to interrogate you and Mr. Spock when it is convenient.”

“Interrogate? Why?” Jim’s mother looked between the council member and him.

“The validity of the relationship between Jim and I is being brought into question,” Spock provided.

His mother was clearly torn between outrage and confusion. “Why would Starfleet care about your relationship?”

“I’ll explain later, Mom,” Jim said quietly and she looked concerned, but didn’t say anything.

“When would be a convenient time for you?” Chopra asked politely.

“Tomorrow at 0800 hours. Would that give you enough time?”

“Yes, that will be sufficient.”

An ensign took the guests away and Jim and Spock returned to their quarters to get ready for the formal dinner. “Jim, do you have any ideas about the nature of the interrogation questions?” Spock asked from the bathroom as he changed clothes.

“Probably ask us stupid things like how long we’ve been together, what sort of underwear you wear, how often we’ve had sex,” Jim muttered as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Spock was now looking out of the bathroom doorway. “Jim, it is likely they will use the computer to detect whether or not we are lying.”

“I know, Spock,” Jim sighed and Spock stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed.

“It would be difficult to circumvent the computer.”

“Difficult? It’ll be impossible!” Jim started stabbing badges and pins onto his dress shirt. Seeing Jim struggle, Spock stepped forward and started pining the badges on his chest.

“I would make the assumption you do not have a plan.”

There was a buzz at the door and Kirk told the computer to open it. His mother strode in dressed in her formal Federation uniform. She beamed at the pair and Spock’s hands dropped from Jim’s shirt. “You two are adorable.” Jim rolled his eyes at this. “A board of inquiry,” she scoffed, “well, seeing as Starfleet has nothing better to do, you two can just embarrass them. You’ll do just fine.”

Spock and Jim glanced at each other briefly. Jim felt sick to his stomach, but he would get out of it like he always did. But Jim had notorious difficulty dealing with diplomats – he’d battle a giant lizard alien any day.

“So you’re on your way to Deneva, mom?” Jim asked, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

“I’ve got to visit your brother, meet this new wife of his. It’s only my good fortune that I get to see my other son on the way,” she smiled affectionately up at him. Her eyes sparkled a bit as she turned to Spock, “and his new boyfriend. Jim, I hope you’re planning on visiting Sam while you’re there.”

“Of course, mom.”

“And are you going to introduce him to Spock?”

“Well…”

“Jim,” her eyebrows raised in warning. Oh, she was taking on her scolding mom tone. “I expect you to introduce them.”

“I will, of course. Let’s go to dinner,” Jim smiled at his mother and grabbed Spock’s hand. It had almost become a habit to hold Spock’s hand when walking together off duty. It was a simple sign of affection that apparently hadn’t fooled someone. Perhaps he should up the ante.

“Jim,” Spock whispered quietly as they fell behind his mother, “you didn’t tell me you had a brother on Deneva.”

“Well, it hasn’t really come up, Spock.”

“Jim,” his tone took on a much more serious note that only Jim was able to detect, “these are the sorts of things that can trip us up in front of the inquirer. We need to be well informed of each other.”

“Then we’ll practice a bit before the inquiry. But for now, we’ve got to have dinner. Come on.”

The officers were assembled in the dining hall prepared for this occasion, although his mother was the first ambassador to arrive. She went around and greeted the officers each in turn as they waited for the others to arrive.

When they did, dinner began with forced polite conversation and a lot of sipping drinks to avoid looking uncomfortable. Jim’s mother glanced around the table before clearing her throat. “So, Spock, what did you do before becoming science officer?”

“I was a professor at the Academy. I taught both Lieutenant Uhura and Captain Kirk.”

“Oh, is that where you met?”

“Actually-“ Jim began, but Spock looked at him pointedly. “Well, that’s a story for a different time.”

“What did you study at Starfleet, Lieutenant Uhura?” Winona turned to the woman. Thankfully, as the dinner wore on, more and more conversation picked up. Jim was talking to Ambassador Nguyen about Abraham Lincoln when he noticed Spock was looking at him oddly. Jim met Spock’s gaze and then followed his path downwards – Jim’s hand was on Spock’s thigh. When had that gotten there? That was odd. Even odder was that he was reluctant to move it. He did so anyways.

**

Spock and Jim retired to their quarters after the meal, although Jim had made a brief stop by the engine room at Scotty’s request. “Your mother is very kind,” Spock commented politely as Jim sat down at the chess set. Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim indicated for him to sit. Spock joined him and Jim moved his first piece.

“We’re being watched.”

“Jim?” Spock moved his pawn, sure not to show outward surprise – perhaps because he realized the people watching would see… or perhaps that was normal for Spock.

“Scotty told me. The inquirer requested access to the cameras in our quarters,” Jim took one of Spock’s pawns.  

“He should not have done that,” Spock returned the move. They were silent for several moves before Spock spoke again. “Jim, the cameras have sound.”

“Not anymore,” Jim grinned wickedly and Spock finally looked up from the game. To Spock’s raised eyebrow, Jim said, “Let’s say I owe Scotty quite a few favors.”

The “common” areas of the officers’ quarters were equipped with cameras. The bed and bathroom were fully private and the cameras had to be accessed with permission. They had been installed on all new ships after the mutiny aboard the U.S.S. Titan – in addition to the usual security cameras. Everything was recorded, but not monitored or viewed save for particular circumstances. Spying on a gay couple for an inquiry was apparently one of them.

Jim smirked as Spock pondered his next move. Jim kicked off his boots, seemingly absentmindedly, and slid his socked foot up Spock’s pant leg. Spock jumped and knocked over a chess piece. “Jim?”

He used a knight to snatch one of Spock’s bishops. “I figured we don’t want another inquiry. We might as well wipe all doubt from their minds.”

Spock knocked over two pawns while making his next move. Was he blushing? He looked much greener than usual.

“Check.”

“And how do you plan on doing that, Jim?” Spock asked, moving his king to avoid the check. Jim waited until it was Spock’s turn again before talking.

“I figured we could give them a show.” Spock was staring pointedly as the board as Jim spoke. “Checkmate.” Spock stopped looking at the board to look at Jim with mild surprise. “Well?”

“I find the suggestion agreeable.”

Jim had been prepared to muster up the courage to do this, but he found he didn’t have to. He surged forward from his chair, bumping the chessboard in the process, and crashed his lips against Spock’s. One hand touched Spock’s neck and the other was in his hair. Spock slid his hands around the back of Jim’s neck and got to his feet. Fuck. Jim had forgotten Spock was taller than him. He’d never kissed someone taller than him. Their mouths closed over one another’s and their slick tongues slipped together as Spock was backed away from the chessboard and closer to the bed. There was a small thud when Spock hit the wall blocking the bed from the rest of the room, but if it hurt, he didn’t give any indication. Jim slid his hands under Spock’s shirt and ran his hands against his back and sides. Spock grabbed one of Jim’s hands and slid his fingers against it. Jim pulled away from the kiss just slightly.

“What are you doing?” He whispered between breaths. Spock’s face was flushed green and Jim suspected he looked similarly pink.

“Kissing you in the Vulcan manner,” he breathed back.

“What?”

“Vulcan hands are erogenous zones. We kiss with our hands.”

Jim furrowed his brow at him for a moment. He sputtered a bit and almost began yelling at Spock for letting them hold hands so often without saying a word, but he found he didn’t care and had a better idea for his mouth. “So what happens if I do this?” Jim grabbed Spock’s hand and wrapped his lips around two fingers. As soon as he sucked, Spock moaned slightly and slid down the wall a bit – his eyes squeezed shut. This is why he loved aliens, especially the ones from less overtly sexual races. He knew humans too well – there was no adventure or discovery.

Jim pulled the hand from his mouth and went back to kissing Spock in the human way. However, he intertwined his fingers with Spock’s. He couldn’t kiss someone in two ways at the same time with another human. His free hand found its way back up Spock’s shirt and ran across his smooth stomach. So, if Vulcans used hands for kissing, was a hand job like a blowjob for them? Clearly this was a question that would need answered sometime.

“Come on,” Jim mumbled into Spock’s lips and they moved away from the wall and towards the bed. For good measure, Jim separated from Spock and yanked his shirt over his head, making sure to throw it within the camera’s range.

“You always take your shirt off,” Spock commented when they fell on the bed.

“And you notice?” Jim quirked an eyebrow and moved over Spock, grinning at him now. “I think we gave them a good show. What do you think?”

“I think I find myself in a rather difficult situation, Jim,” Spock stared up at him and Jim glanced down. Spock’s pants were tented, but rather than leaving or rolling off of Spock, Jim slid his leg between Spock’s. He rubbed his thigh against Spock’s erection, which caused the Vulcan’s back to arch and his breath to hitch.

“Jim,” Spock gasped and closed his eyes. Seeing this reaction, Jim started to rub with his hand on the outside of Spock’s pants. He brought one of Spock’s hands up to his mouth and began sucking on his fingers, causing the Vulcan to moan in a surprisingly uncharacteristic moment. It was a gorgeous sound. If only Jim could get Spock to make it again. He ran his tongue along Spock’s index finger, eliciting another one of those wanton moans. And again. And again. Spock arched his back violently as he came inside of his pants. As he fell back down breathlessly, Jim rolled over next to him.

“Good idea,” Spock breathed heavily.

“What?” Was Spock complimenting him? If so, it was an odd wording.

“Now if the inquirer asks if we’ve had any sexual experiences together, we can answer in the affirmative truthfully.”

“Oh yes. That was my intention.” Well, it was a good idea now that he thought about it, but he hadn’t been thinking anything of the sort when he tried to get Spock off.

Oh dear sweet god. He’d just gotten Spock off.


	8. Chapter 8

“We will be conducting your interviews separately. Mr. Kirk, will you please take a seat and Mr. Spock, would you please leave the room.”

The meeting room only had five people in it besides Jim and Spock. Scotty and Bones were the two highest ranking officers after Jim and Spock, and therefore had to be present for any administrative matter involving the captain or the first officer. His mother had somehow managed to pull up some law that stated two witnesses for the Federation should be present for the inquiry. Arguably, Scotty and Bones filled his role, but his mother had somehow convinced the inquirer that they only filed the singular administrative role for the ship and they would need two people to act as witnesses still. The inquirer, Jim noticed, didn’t seem “out to get them,” which was a relief, and didn’t argue with his mother extensively before allowing her to sit in on the inquiry. But he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

“State your name for the record.”

“Captain James Tiberius Kirk,” he said and the light on the computer flashed green to affirm his truthfulness.

“And would you please state a falsity to verify the computer works correctly for you, Captain Kirk?”

“I’m twenty two years old,” Jim stated – he’d been tempted to be cheeky “I didn’t bring Spock to orgasm last night” or something of the sort, but now was not the time to piss of a member of Starfleet or the Federation. Which, really, he should have been panicky about that being a truthful statement now. But he felt quite… happy about it.

“Incorrect!” The computer blared and the inquirer nodded.

“Thank you, Captain,” Chopra made a mark on his tablet. “Now, for this inquiry, thoroughness is highly important. You will be answering both questions about yourself, questions about your partner and questions about your relationship. You are to answer truthfully and to the best of your ability. Are we clear?”

“Yes,” Jim affirmed.

*

_“Let it be stated for the record that Mr. Spock is a Vulcan and cannot lie. Therefore, we will bypass the affirmation test, but he will remain monitored by the computer, as is standard.”_

_“Affirmative,” the computer chimed back._

_*_

“Would you consider yourself a homosexual?”

“What?” Jim narrowed his eyes. Asking such a personal question right off the bat? “I don’t really think that proves anything. That question is too complex for a simple answer. Sexuality isn’t simple.”

“Mr. Kirk, please answer the question.”

“I am answering,” Jim snapped in return. “My sexuality isn’t a simple answer. No, I’m not a exclusively homosexual, but that doesn’t mean I’m exclusively heterosexual, right?” Sure, he considered himself heterosexual (maybe not so much now, considering…), but the question was a rhetorical and general question that would slip by the computer, because, no, not homosexual did not equal heterosexual.

“Are you attracted to men, Mr. Kirk?”

“I’m attracted to Spock. And that’s all that matters, right?” The computer didn’t react.

*

_“Would you consider yourself a homosexual?”_

_“Yes.”_

_*_

“Please describe for me your past romantic relations prior to this one.”

“Well, it was mostly girls. Everyone knows that. But they didn’t last long. I didn’t have any serious relationships at all,” he didn’t add “until this one” so he wouldn’t be caught in a lie. “But I don’t see what that has to do with my current relationship.”

*

_“I did not have prior romantic relations.”_

_*_

“How would you describe your relationship with Mr. Spock?”

“It’s like any other relationship, you know. We fight. We get over it.”

“Care to explain more thoroughly, Captain?”

“Look, it’s not easy being with someone who’s not…human. Sometimes I get mad about his lack of emotions. Do you know how frustrating it is that no matter how much you yell at someone, they never yell back? And sometimes I’d be excited and he’s never excited to do anything. Or once, I’d like to yell at him and actually have him hurt. But then I step back and realize that just because Spock doesn’t show emotions doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them, right? So if I call him names, I can hurt him. And I can recognize that now. I can see when he’s mad or excited, even when no one else can.”

“It sounds like you have a turbulent relationship.”

“Who doesn’t? Look, he’s aggravating sometimes. But he’s…well,” describe Spock…what about his relationship with Spock could he describe without the computer telling on him? “He’s funny. I know a lot of people don’t notice. I mean, he’s a Vulcan, but I really enjoy his dry humor. He’s a hell of a chess player. And, I tend to get bored a lot, but when I’m with Spock, I never feel bored.” Spock did tend to keep him on his toes. Oh, and to top it off… “He’s with me every night when I go to bed, and there every morning when I wake up. And that’s what’s important.”

*

_“How would you describe your relationship with Captain Kirk?”_

_“It can be difficult,” Spock started slowly. “The captain can allow his emotions to get the better of him sometimes, but he is an agreeable partner. The relationship is… stimulating, but it tends to be very settled at times. We do have certain routines worked out and other mundane, daily things.”_

_“Such as?”_

_“We have agreed the temperature of the room shall stay at 79 degrees, a bit hot for the captain’s preferences and a bit cool for mine, but we both compromised. The captain has agreed to join me in bed quietly, should he come in late, if I do not use the word fascinating within the confines of our room.”_

_“Your relationship sounds companionable. The captain led me to believe it was rather turbulent.”_

_“It is not the relationship that is turbulent. It is the captain.”_

_*_

“When was your first kiss with Mr. Spock?”

Damn, they were thorough. “Umm…” Jim hesitated. How to get around this one? “It was on a ship.”

“When, captain?”

“I can’t really say,” it was true. He couldn’t because it was last night and that would get him fired, “but it was right after dinner and a chess game. I won.”

“How long ago?”

 “I don’t know. A while.”

“Incorrect,” the computer blared.

“Captain Kirk, may I remind you that you are under oath?”

Jim glared and decided to lay it on thick. It seemed like the best possible response.  “What do you want me to say? That is feels like only yesterday? That even when I kissed him last night, it felt like the first time? Look, Mr. Chopra, I’m being as polite as possible, but my personal life is getting sifted through. I realize that all this is hard to believe for Starfleet, but it’s getting on my last nerve. I’m being treated like a criminal because they won’t believe I’m with someone now.”

“Mr. Kirk, we don’t mean to imply you’re a criminal-“

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry. I got a little caught up. Can we move to another question now?”

*

_“When we first met,” Spock noticed the expression on the inquirer’s face changed slightly. “However, humans and Vulcans kiss differently. I count the first time we kissed as the first Vulcan time. I would hazard to guess the captain considers the first human kiss the first time.”_

_“Noted, Mr. Spock.”_

_*_

“Did you retain your relationship while you were separated?”

“Well, that’s a bit of a complex question.”

“A lot of these questions appear to be complex to you, Captain Kirk,” Chopra deadpanned.

“Since when are relationships simple? I didn’t cheat on him and I did see women while we were apart.”

“So you were not in a relationship during that time?”

“Well…. we’ve seen each other off and on during the past five years,” Jim was glad for an easy fallback that he and Spock often used.

*

_“Our relationship has changed in the past five years. The Captain has engaged in several other relationships, but I have not.”_

_*_

“We would like to know the depth and commitment involved in your relationship. What serious steps have you taken in your relationship?”

“Well, I introduced Spock to my mother.”

“Before this excursion, I presume?”

“Yes,” Jim said defiantly.

“On Stardate 4704.3,” Jim’s mom intervened. “It is on record in my personal ambassador’s log, Inquirer Chopra, and would be willing to provide evidence for it.”

“That won’t be necessary, ambassador. Thank you,” he turned back to Jim. “Have you met Spock’s family?”

“No.”

“Is there a reason?”

“His family was on Vulcan, Inquirer Chopra,” Jim said simply and the man looked like he’d been slapped in the face. He’d likely not been thinking about Spock being Vulcan at the time.

“Computer, please make a note,” Chopra said, in a much less authoritative voice than before.

*

_“I am unsure as to what humans consider ‘serious steps’ in a relationship. Most Vulcans are betrothed at a young age, so I can be quite at a loss as to what humans find significant in a relationship. I have met his mother and we’ve moved in together aboard the Enterprise.”_

_*_

“Have you had sexual intercourse with each other?”

“Inquirer Chopra!” His mother exclaimed, rising from her seat quickly. “That is a highly personal, and inappropriate question! Is this what the Federation wants out of its inquiries? Invasions of privacy? What did you really call this inquiry for? To humiliate a starship captain and his first officer because of their sexual preferences?”

“Mom,” Jim cut in, stopping her, “it’s okay. Yes, inquirer. We have. Last night even. And if you’re not convinced of that, then you should know that we kiss constantly – the Vulcan way. You can ask anyone – everyone on the ship has seen us holding hands. It keeps us affectionate without disturbing other crew members. Besides, Spock likes it,” he smirked, reveling in the silence of the computer and watching his still-angry mom sit back down.

*

_“Yes, we have.”_

_*_

“One final question. Do you love him?”

*

_“Yes.”_

_*_

“Yes.”

The computer was silent.

**

“It would seem the Inquirer was satisfied with our answers, Jim.”

“Yes. Yes, I know that,” Jim was scowling, pacing the length of their room frantically.

“Then why do you seem…irate?” Spock was watching him with his hands clasped behind his back, as always. His head was tilted slightly and there was a slight line between his eyebrows. For some reason, being able to tell Spock was trying to assess Jim’s emotional state and the reasoning behind it just pissed him off more. The computer must have been wrong. Or must have misread something. It was possible to beat the computer, wasn’t it? And if anyone could beat a computer, it was Jim Kirk. “Are you displeased you didn’t get to spend much time with your mother?”

“No, Spock,” he sighed irritably and Spock’s eyebrows deepened the frown.

“Then it is something to do with the inquiry.”

“I don’t want to talk about it now.”

“Perhaps the questions were too prying. I know humans aren’t particularly fond of invasions of personal lives. Vulcan’s prefer privacy as well, but I believe the questions were necessary.”

“Really, Spock?” Jim finally turned on him. “You think it was totally necessary they asked if we’d had sex?”

“Well, we did foresee that as a possible question,” Spock said calmly, though Jim was almost yelling at him. “And I believe they were just being thorough.”

“Thorough? Spock-“ Jim finally cut off and looked away, frustrated. He took a moment and massaged his temples. “Fine. Then how did you get around the ‘do you love him’ question?” He demanded, looking back at Spock. The question seemed to catch Spock off guard. His expression changed almost instantly – his jaw went slightly slack and his eyebrows relaxed considerably and he just stared back at Jim, an almost helpless look in his eyes. Their eyes locked and Jim’s brow slowly furrowed. And there it was. Spock hadn’t gotten around the question.

“Captain.” Uhura’s voice on the intercom almost made Jim jump out of his skin. He and Spock broke eye contact and Jim pressed the comm button.

“Yes, Uhura?”

“We’re approaching Deneva. You wanted to be there for the Inquirer and your mother’s departure.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Jim responded and then looked at Spock briefly, who was pointedly looking away from Jim, before leaving the room. As soon as he walked out, he nearly bumped into Bones.

“Jim, I’ve got to talk to you.”

“It’s going to have to wait, Bones. I’ve got to see my mother and the inquirer off.”

“Jim, this is important.”

“We’ll talk about it later, Bones. I promise,” he nodded to him, sincere about his promise, but brushed past him anyways.

His mother bade him a tearful and happy goodbye, while the inquirer promised to put in a good word for them. Apparently he and Spock had nothing to worry about, the man had said.

Except, maybe there was a little to worry about. Or a lot to worry about. Jim wasn’t exactly sure what to make of his answer. He’d just blurted it out and the computer didn’t disagree. The computer was always accurate about detecting lies. So when Jim had said yes…

He disappeared from the dock and made sure to avoid any encounters with Doctor McCoy. He just needed some time to think.

Did he love Spock? Spock loved him. Now Jim was sure of that.

But… how did he feel about Spock? He hadn’t lied about any of the things he’d said about Spock. Spock made him happy. Spock was fantastic in his own way.

What was wrong with loving Spock? He’d constantly made notes in his head about how great the Vulcan was and how he planned to seek out a similar partner with different genitalia after all was said and done. But then there was last night. He had no problem kissing Spock or rubbing against him until Spock came in his pants. Was it really so horrible if Jim did have feelings for him? After all, bisexuality existed. He hadn’t thought he was bisexual. Not before. But he already told everyone he was homosexual (except when he backpedaled in front of the Inquirer). Was it really so hard to settle on a middle ground? No. That wouldn’t be difficult. In fact, he liked that idea. Bisexual. Captain James T. Kirk: Intrepid Bisexual exploring the galaxy. No one is safe.

Jim smiled vaguely to himself.

But what about Spock? His smile dissipated immediately. They had a nice thing going. What was he going to do?

He needed some time to step away from the situation. Or at least get another perspective on it. And the only person who was aware of the full situation was Bones. Unfortunately, he would have to see what the good Doctor had wanted to talk about first.

“All right, Bones, what is it you wanted to talk about?” Jim asked as he walked into Sick Bay, but Doctor McCoy practically hauled him into his office and shut the door behind them.

“Jim, Spock loves you.”

Jim sighed and nodded. He expected this. After all, McCoy had been at both of their inquiries. He expected the doctor to do him the favor of telling him. “I know.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” he insisted. “I think Spock has loved you for a long time.”

“Meaning?”

“Do you remember that morning you woke up soaking wet back at the Academy?”

Jim frowned in concentration. “I woke up in a lot of weird situations at the Academy, but yeah, I think I know what you’re talking about. You said we took a swim in Admiral Carter’s swimming pool.”

“Not exactly. You were drunk and you fell into the river. Spock saved you from drowning.”

“Spock-“

“And I’m not talking about him coming across you flailing in the water. As soon as you were in, he was. To be perfectly honest, I thought he was following us – just someone else with the hots for Jim Kirk just waiting for an opportunity. I was pretty brusque with him, too.  But… it was pretty clear how he felt about you then.”

Jim sat down slowly in Bones’s chair. “He…”

“And then I found out you dragged him into this.”

“I didn’t know,” Jim replied helplessly.

“Jim, you know you’re my best friend, but you use people. You use people who care about you. And you need to grow up. I don’t know how you got around that computer, but once Spock hears about it-“

“I didn’t,” Jim said quietly and Bones narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

“I didn’t get around the computer. I was telling the truth,” Jim stood up quickly. “I’ve got to go. I’ll… talk to you later.” He rushed out before Bones could say another word.

He used people? He’d never thought about it that way… but Bones was right. He did use people, didn’t he? All those women he dumped unceremoniously. He’d always blamed it being a personality trait of his that couldn’t be helped – he was bad at breaking up. But that wasn’t it, really. He just didn’t care. When he was done with someone, he didn’t care how they went, just that they did. He took people for granted. Uhura, who had saved his life too many times to count and proved to be an excellent officer, had not been promoted in rank since he took command. Spock, who had been in love with him for several years and pretended to be Jim’s boyfriend so that Jim could keep the Enterprise, had been stuck watching him make out with some alien girl just because he was a little horny and drunk. To be fair, he hadn’t known Spock had been in love with him and he hadn’t kept Uhura in her rank purposely. He just… hadn’t noticed.

He escaped to a quiet lab that wasn’t in use and started writing up apologies to every woman he’d wronged in the past. It was going to take a long time.

When he was done with that task – and it took several hours – he replicated a sandwich and sent a private message to Starfleet giving Uhura the highest recommendation for a higher rank. And if she eventually left his ship to join another as first officer, so be it. As long as she was happy. She deserved it.

He just needed to talk to Spock. He found Spock easily in their shared quarters. Spock was sitting at the computer and didn’t look up when Jim entered. “Spock, we need to talk.”

It took Spock a moment, but he pried his gaze away from the computer to look at Jim. He stood up. “Yes, I suppose we should. I have some information I should divulge.”

“I know what it is,” Jim tried to wave him off. He knew it would be about his feelings and he wanted to spare Spock that discomfort. “Don’t worry about it. Look, I don’t know who called for this inquiry-“

“I did.”

Jim blinked. “What?”

“I called for the inquiry.”

Jim was flabbergasted and a bit angry now. He felt betrayed. “You did?”

“Yes. It was six months into our relationship to know each other well enough to withstand scrutiny. After what you pulled on Vargo, people were starting to doubt the validity of it. I had Lieutenant Uhura put in an anonymous concern to Starfleet. However, there was cause for concern when you divulged new information to me on the eve of the inquiry. And I had not expected them to be quite so thorough by looking at the security cameras.”

“You-“ Jim stared at him. “You… Why didn’t you tell me?”

“So that your offense and shock at the situation was genuine.”

Jim wanted to be angry. He really did. But he just found he didn’t have the energy. “Yes, well… whatever. I guess, in the end, the inquiry did us good.”

Spock glanced away and Jim pursed his lips, trying to find the next words he wanted to say. He could berate Spock later for the stunt. But, for now, he had something else very pressing on his mind.

“We should go on a date.”

Spock clasped his hands behind his back, not quite looking at Jim. “Yes, I suppose we should. It has been a long time since last shore leave and the crew needs to see us together after the inquiry.”

“No, no,” Jim shook his head. “I mean… a real date.”

Spock turned to look at him, a line appearing between his brows. “Jim,” he paused as if gathering his words, “if this is some form of mercy based on what I said during the inquiry-“

“It’s not,” Jim cut him off instantly. “It’s about what I said during the inquiry.”

Spock raised his eyebrow minutely, curiosity piqued. “What did you say?”

“I asked you how you got around that question. Aren’t you curious as to how I did?”

Spock shrugged, the gesture almost too nonchalant. “I had assumed you used your rather masterful skill of rhetoric to ‘talk yourself out of it.’”

“I didn’t.”

Spock didn’t understand, however. “Well, it is realistic that in a relationship, one individual may be more invested than the other. Or it simply takes longer for one of them to reciprocate feelings-“

“Spock. Stop,” Jim put up his hand. He would just have to spell it out, wouldn’t he? “When the computer asked if I love you, I said yes. And I wasn’t lying.”

Still, Spock seemed unusually trapped in his denial. “Well, there are many forms of love-“

“Dammit, Spock,” Jim grabbed the front of his uniform shirt and yanked Spock to him, pulling him into a fierce kiss. When he pulled away, he brought a hand to the back of Spock’s neck and looked at him. “I love you, Spock.”

“I love you, too.” 


	9. Epilogue

-One Year Later-

 

“Captain Kirk.” Pause. “Bridge to Captain Kirk. “ Pause. “Bridge to Captain Kirk. Jim! I know you’re there!”

 

Jim groaned and rolled over, smacking his hand on the comm system. “What is it. Uhura?” He grumbled, voice half muffled by his pillow.

 

“We have a distress call from Janus VI.”

 

“Do they need us there right away?” His voice was a bit strained, almost petulant. But his head was pounding as he tried to think clearly.

 

“Yes,” Uhura’s voice sounded testy, the edges of her patience wearing thin.

 

“Tell Sulu Warp 8,” he sighed. “I’ll be right up. Kirk out,” he hit the button again to turn it off. “Lights… like… one percent,” he instructed the computer, but he didn’t notice much of a change in the room. “Okay… five percent?” He did notice one this time, but he wasn’t getting anywhere. “Ten percent.” When the lights flicked up again, he covered his eyes with his hands quickly. He swore under his breath, trying to lift his head, which felt like it was filled with lead. He lifted Spock’s arm off him – that chocolate must have really done him in for him to be splayed out like that. Still in his clothes? Jim squinted over at him and saw Spock was wearing his sexy pajamas. So not in his clothes. Just had more of a mind to dress for bed than Jim.

 

Jim tried to roll out of bed onto his feet, but only managed part of the equation. He fell to the floor with a thud and promised never to drink again. He pushed himself up and managed to get to his feet. He was hit with a wave of nausea, but fought it as he stepped towards the living area of their quarters. He spotted a small vial on the computer desk with a note. Jim squinted to read it, holding it at arms length and trying to make out the scribbles in the dark.

 

_Hangover cure – here’s my gift to you. – Bones_

Jim managed a smile – on the inside, since he didn’t dare move his lips from their position lest they keep nothing at bay. He downed the vial immediately and stumbled over to the bathroom to look in the mirror. His hair was sticking up in all directions and he wasn’t wearing any clothes. He looked like a mess. Ah well, it wasn’t like the entire crew wasn’t there anyways. And if he needed to answer a video call, well… half of the Federation knew what had happened yesterday, so no big deal. Returning to his quarters, he shuffled through the drawers, wondering just how long the hangover cure would take to set in.

 

He dressed in his uniform quickly and trudged over to the nightstand drawers. After rummaging for a minute, he found the vintage sunglasses Spock had gotten him as a present and shoved them on before walking out into the bright light of the corridor. He grunted and threw his hands up over his eyes, like shielding himself from the sun. He was tempted to walk down the hall with his eyes shut, but managed to keep them open just barely to find his way to the turbolift.

 

“Bridge.”

 

It was times like this he wished they had stairs on the Enterprise. They had some ladders, sure. But some real stairs. As soon as the turbolift started to move, he felt like he was going to throw up again. He grasped the handle tightly and leaned forward against the wall, pressing his pounding head against the cool metal.

 

“Keep it together, Jim Kirk,” he hissed under his breath, waiting for the turbolift to grind to a halt. When the doors finally slid open, Jim popped out as quickly as possible, straightening his posture, but not looking much better for it.

 

“Captain,” ARGH. Jim clamped his hands over his ears over the piercing sound of Uhura’s voice.

 

“Dammit, Uhura. Don’t shout!”

 

Even through the dark sunglasses Jim could immediately see Uhura’s expression turn to one of impatience. “Don’t get mad at me because you drank a whole bottle of Romulan ale at your wedding, Jim Kirk.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Despite how terrible he felt, he did feel a pleasant tingling in his stomach at that thought. Or was that nausea again? That might have been nausea. “My wedding.”

 

“Jim,” Uhura snapped her fingers in front of face. “Focus. They’ve got a situation on Janus VI.”

 

“It had better be a good one,” he mumbled under his breath.

 

“Something has killed fifty miners at their pergium mining colony.”

 

“Oh. That is a good one.” Now he felt bad he’d even said it. He leaned over Uhura’s console and lifted his sunglasses up, trying to ignore the blinding light. He squinted, just barely letting a sliver of his vision get in. “Send a message back telling them we’re en route-“ he flipped it arm back and pointed at the helm, even though he didn’t turn his head. “Sulu, how long until we can get there?”

 

“About three days, sir.”

 

“Tell ‘em two,” Jim nodded to Uhura, confident that with a helmsman like Sulu and a ship like the Enterprise, they could make it.

 

“Yes, captain,” Uhura nodded and brought her device up to her ear to relay the message.

 

“Sulu,” Jim turned, not moving very far because his stomach was not churning at the moment. So he would hold that spot until he had to move. “Push her to warp nine for short bursts when you can.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“I think… I’ve got everything covered. Uhura, I’m going back to my quarters until this hangover cure kicks in. I can be reached there. Umm… tell my mom and brother their departure will be delayed while we deal with this problem. Oh… and T’Pau, too, I guess. We’ll get her to New Vulcan as soon as we can. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

 

Jim walked back onto the turbolift, nausea fainter this time around. Maybe the cure was kicking in. He dropped his sunglasses back over his eyes when the comm system chimed, feeling more like someone shoved a needle in his ear than a faint bell.

 

“Kirk,” he answered.

 

“Jim, did you get my hangover cure?”

 

“Yes, Bones,” he sighed heavily. “But it hasn’t quite kicked in yet and it feels like a buffalo is dancing on my head.”

 

“Well, I’d say you deserve it. But I think everyone deserved a few drinks at their engagement party.”

 

Oh god. Was he still talking? Jim tried not to groan as the turbolift stopped. “Gotta go,” he said quickly and turned the comm system off. He returned to his quarters and found the lights still dimmed to ten percent. He nearly tripped over the tea set from Admiral Zhao on his way in. Where were they going to put all these presents? He thought, dismayed, as his mind started to clear.

 

It was his wedding. His wedding to Spock.

 

Neither one of them were much for a big hurrah. It had been a quick engagement and a low-key wedding done on the Enterprise. They’d had a Vulcan officiator – Jim hadn’t minded it and Spock had made subtle indications that he would like one. The crew had shown up – all but the ones needed to run the ship. At their request, they’d run the ceremony over the comm system. Jim felt a little imperious doing so, but he couldn’t turn down the request.

 

Everything had been simple. But that was how it was with Spock. Things were easy… most of the time. They still had moments where they rubbed each other the wrong way. But… for the most part… The engagement hadn’t been notable in any way, either. Jim had a tendency to be brash and they’d been playing chess when the thought had crossed his mind.

 

_“Spock.”_

_“Yes, Jim?”_

_“You want to marry me?”_

_“Is that a general question or an immediate one?”_

_“Immediate. Like, if I asked you right now, would you say yes?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Hey, Spock.”_

_“Yes, Jim?”_

_“Marry me?”_

_“Of course.”_

Admittedly not the most romantic turn of events. But, then again, their first meeting hadn’t been, either. Maybe they should make up another Venice story.

 

Jim smiled to himself and trod over to the bed, flopping back onto it, making it bounce and jarring Spock awake. Spock turned his head, but didn’t lift it from the pillow. He caught Spock’s eyes staring at him. Spock’s hair was a mess, no semblance left of its usual order, and he looked tired, but he didn’t seem to be suffering the same way Jim had when he’d woken up. Damn Vulcan metabolism, he was sure Bones would say.

 

“You dressed,” Spock said simply.

 

“So did you,” Jim shot back, smiling at him.

 

“I was cold,” Spock replied and then lifted his head. “What happened? You would only be dressed if something had occurred.”

 

He knew Spock was alarmed – well, as alarmed as a Vulcan could be – but Jim was feeling flirtatious and everything was under control. They had two full days until they faced their emergency. “Maybe I just wanted you to rip them off me again.”

 

But Spock was serious. “Jim-“

 

“There is a situation on Janus VI,” Jim said flippantly, trying to blow off his concern.

 

“Janus VI is 3.12 days away-“

 

“Two,” Jim correctly easily. “And we’re already on our way. Don’t worry. I’ve got it handled,” Jim rolled over and started crawling over Spock. “And I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to,” he practically purred.

 

He could see Spock was still slightly concerned with the situation he didn’t know everything about, so Jim leaned down and kissed him deeply.

 

“Captain Kirk.”

 

“Goddammit!” Jim hissed as he pulled away from Spock.

 

Without asking, Spock flipped his hand over to the nightstand, flicking the comm system on.

 

“What is it, Uhura?” Jim tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice, but he was pretty sure he failed.

 

“Chief Vanderberg on Janus VI reports another death.”

 

Jim sighed heavily. “Give him my condolences.” There really wasn’t much else he could say. It was a shame miners were dying, but they were the nearest ship and they couldn’t go any faster.

 

“He also wants to brief someone in charge on the situation.”

 

Jim glanced down at Spock, who lifted an eyebrow, both of them still frozen in the same position. “Have my new lieutenant commander brief him.”

 

“And who is that, captain?”

 

Jim smirked to himself, enjoying the moment. “That would be Lieutenant Commander Uhura.”

 

There was a long pause. “Can you repeat that, captain?”

 

“I said congratulations, Uhura. The orders came in yesterday. We’ll have a proper ceremony for you as soon as we can.”

 

Another pause. “Are you joking?”

 

“No, Uhura. I am more serious now than I’ve ever been.”

 

“Jim Kirk, get to the bridge so I can kiss you.”

 

“How about I let Spock do that for you?” He grinned, looking at Spock rather than the comm. Spock watched him, unmoving, still remaining silent while the comm system was on. “You have the conn, Commander Uhura. The first officer and I are going to be incapacitated until we get to Janus VI. Call it our honeymoon. Kirk out,” Jim flicked the system off, feeling supremely pleased with himself.

 

“Our honeymoon, Jim?”

 

“Human thing,” Jim brushed it off. “Means we get to stay in bed for several days and do nothing.”

 

“Jim, certainly this situation on Janus VI warrants your attention…” Spock began reproachfully. Jim was not going to have Spock’s concern over the situation dampen his short honeymoon.

 

“Is Uhura not a capable officer?” Jim challenged.

 

“She’s one of the most capable officers I’ve ever met and fully deserving of her title well before she received it, however-“

 

“Didn’t you tell me Uhura has significantly “more finesse” when it comes to critical situations than me?”

 

“That is why she is communications officer-“

 

“So what about the two day travel time to Janus VI makes you think Uhura can’t handle it?”

 

Spock was silent for a moment, clearly sifting through the logic in his mind, trying to find a sound argument to protest on, but he found none. “All right,” he conceded defeat. “Jim,” his tone had shifted and he looked at him skeptically, “you certainly can’t expect to spend the entirety of the trip to Janus VI in bed.”

 

“I can certainly try,” Jim smirked. He liked that challenge. Had Spock purposely provoked him, knowing he would do his damndest to rise to it? Possibly. The Vulcan bastard. “Hey, when we get to Janus VI, we have to go back to work. We have to go back to being the captain and the first officer. But for the next two days, we’re just the newlyweds Jim and Spock and I’m going to make the most of them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter to help wrap up the fic a bit more. Happy endings abounds and all that. Thanks for reading!


End file.
